I once asked ‘I wonder how would
anyone subject themselves to arranged marriages?! To marry a stranger and be
with his/her family?!’ An advocate of love marriages, Suren and I dated for 6
years before we got married in 2013 and during those years, I was already
fraternizing with the family to ‘ease’ my way into the Indrans’ household.
My perception changed when I
started to get to know my parents in law, a successful alliance which was a product
of arranged marriage. Both hardly knew each other prior to the wedding but the
fact that Uncle Indran was Uncle Kuna’s (Aunty Archee’s older brother) good
friend contributed to the strong recommendation that sealed the proposal.
Although they started off their
relationship as strangers, they grew closer over the years and remained very
much in love till Uncle Indran’s last days. The flamboyant and charming Indran
was a perfect match to the sweet and endearing Archee.
Many who know this couple would perceive
Uncle Indran as the dominant one in the relationship but the truth is although
Uncle Indran was the head of the family, Aunty Archee was the neck that moved
the head. Uncle Indran used to joke that he may be a Major but he always
thought that he was the General and Aunty was the Major simply because he made
all the general decisions in their lives and she did the major ones.
As long as I can remember, these
two were inseparable. Uncle Indran only eats if Aunty Archee serves him and
they ALWAYS ate together be it at home or at a party. At any functions, when Uncle
Indran will be holding court, Aunty Archee can be seen giggling softly right
next to him.
Uncle was always teasing her and
she will slap his thigh playfully in return. I have often caught them sitting
right next to each other in their own thoughts but looking blissfully happy.
There was never a day, Uncle would not call
‘Archee!’ out loud simply because he needs to have her by his side which
she happily obliges.
Aunty Archee loves flowers and he
made sure he gets them for her whenever he can. Aunty once told me that while
they were travelling from Penang to Johor, he had stopped his car to pick some
wild flowers for her. How romantic is that?! Unlike most men, Uncle Indran
remembered important dates such as their registration day and wedding day and
was the one who reminded her.
Although uncle was unwell and
aunty took care of him, he was always watching out for her too. Ensuring she
had enough rest and food, uncle enjoys nagging her and she basked in his
concerns with her usual smiles. They were truly made for each other.
Suren told me that he had never
seen his parents argue in front of him and his siblings. All disagreements were
deliberated in private between them. Uncle Indran valued aunty’s opinions and
this proved to be pivotal in the success of their marriage.
They were each other’s strongest cheerleader.
Uncle Indran’s illustrious life was made possible with the love and support he
derived from Aunty Archee. She was a contented woman because he encouraged her
to pursue her interests. The dedication towards their relationship and the
devotion they shared towards each other provided the basis of a happy home for
their children.
My most treasured moments with
Uncle Indran were meal times when he would be regaling me with stories of his
army life. Sometimes he would slip tips on how to sustain a happy and
harmonious married life. He emphasized on being each other’s pillar of strength
and whenever something is ‘broken’, fix it not throw it. Be it a love or
arranged marriage, when you apply this in your relationship with your spouse, a
happy married life is guaranteed.
For the last few months, when
uncle was at the hospital, she was by his side 24/7. Uncle himself had to
reassure her that he was fine for her to go out for a while to get some fresh
air. When he had to be in the ICU and she could not stay with him, she
reluctantly followed us home only after Suren promised her that he would bring
her back to the hospital early next morning. When uncle’s situation worsened,
she put on a brave front as not to worry him but Uncle Indran was well aware of
his situation but acted as though he did not know anything as not to worry her.
This simple act of sparing each other’s feelings in my opinion is an act of
true love.
When uncle slipped into
unconsciousness and was being wheeled into the ICU, she clung to him and said
‘Darling’ repeatedly as tears coursed down her cheeks. When they told her that
they needed to rush, she added ever so softly ‘I love you’ as she stroked his
hair. That was when my vision was blurred by my own tears. It was too much to
bear.
The family kept vigil at the
waiting lounge that day but the hospital was kind enough to let Aunty Archee be
by his side. At that point, his blood pressure was dropping steadily. I went in
to see Uncle Indran before I went home. My heart ached when I saw Aunty Archee
lying on his shoulder and gently stroking his arm, only stopping to give him
small kisses on his hand. As much as I wanted uncle to be released from the
pain he was suffering from, I wanted him to hold on a little longer for her to
come to terms that her one and only love was going away. Eventually, he held on
and was even responding by moving his head and arm whenever anyone spoke to
him. That small window of miracle gave us chance to say our good byes and when he
breathed his last, Aunty Archee said ‘Go in peace, darling’ That scene will be
etched in my mind for the rest of my life.
To lose your husband who is your
best friend, your lover and confidant is definitely one of the hardest things a
woman has to go through. The depth of love they have for each other is
immeasurable and those who know them have nothing but deep admiration for them
on the commitment they both share.
Young ladies have always wanted
to marry a man like Lord Rama who was believed to love one woman only, Sita and
was devoted to her but I am convinced Uncle Indran was more than Lord Rama to
Aunty Archee just as she was more than Sita for Uncle Indran. This is the kind
of love story that warms your heart and makes you believe in soul mates and true
love.
Although Uncle Indran is no
longer with us, we would just need to summon a fond memory of him to relive the
happy moments and I am convinced Aunty Archee has a lifetime of loving and fond
memories of her darling to sustain her.
Uncle, your love story is
inspiring, it will be a tough act to follow.
They loved to dance
