Don't Pick a Job. Don't Pick a Boss. Pick a Leader!

A friend put this up in FB the other day and I thought how apt and timely was the advice. Another friend is going through a bad time at work because of her old and senile boss. She has been in the company for almost 10 years and they are screwing her up over petty issues. The company she works for is so archaic in people management.

It bugs me that people are still resorting to malicious ways to get rid of others whom they can't work with. Instead of resorting to diplomatic ways such as having coaching sessions and a sound consequence management, bosses are mentally torturing their staff to drive them away. So why do they do it? My personal view is they are being cowards. They are afraid to face the problem in the face and solve it because human interactions are so darn difficult.

When I was working in the corporate world, I often had to bend backwards to please people. Oh yeah, my company had fancy core values displayed every where in the building but nobody was practising it. My conscience was killing me every time a colleague complains about a boss but I could not do anything about it because the boss is apparently good in his work (never mind that his staff was leaving one by one) So that is one of the many reasons I left the corporate world. I knew things will get tougher as I climb the coveted corporate ladder and there would be a time where I would have to sell my soul and I hated that. Of course, it has been 4 months since I saw my 'salary' in my bank account but my mind and heart are definitely in sync and I have no remorse.

Do you know that most staff leave because of their bosses? I know many would say to just grit your teeth and work because you have the best job in the best company that offers great benefits. But come on guys, how about what you feel about working with the shady boss, what about your ambitions, goals and plans? I am pretty sure like the love of your life, there is a job just for you out there. All you have to do is to look for it.

Talking about bosses, my personal take is look for a leader and not a boss to work for. Someone who shares the same aspirations as you. Someone who can groom you to be better than him or her. That is the definition of a true leader. If you work with or for someone like that, I am sure you don't mind clocking in extra hours and also the not so great benefits. Don't sell your soul, people. Remember, you spent close to 10 hours at work every day so make it worthwhile and be happy doing it. And when you become a boss yourself, strive to be a leader.

I also believe it is imperative to be associated with a company that resonates with the principles you have in life. If you are like me, someone who places integrity, respect and teamwork as priorities in life, you should look for those qualities in the company you wish to work for too. For most people, work defines them so make sure it is something worth mentioning.

For my friend who works in that shitty hole (pardon my French) I hope things would get better for her and I hope she would someday find a job that would complement her skills and character. Remember, there is a perfect job for everyone out there!

The dreaded BMI

I started a torrid love affair with food 8 years ago and I am paying the consequences now. I am 30 kg more than the healthy BMI...boo hoo. Why 8 years ago? Well that's when I met my hubby. He loves food and his family consists of great cooks. Easy to shift the blame, eh? But it's true! And I may also like my snacks a wee bit too much.

All this hype of loving your body and curves and it is OK to have flabby skin because you are a mother is started to get to me because I am not fit. I can't climb a flight of stairs without panting and attempting some complicated yoga poses is a sheer torture for me (although I can execute the Camel Pose quite nicely) So yeah, I have to do something about it but what and how and most importantly will I be disciplined enough to carry out a weight loss plan?

I started a 'Eat less and Move more' campaign a while ago and that ended badly because I was snacking on nuts way too much without thinking that it could contribute to the pounds! I am beginning to think that I can also gain weight by drinking water...pffftt! And not forgetting that my idea of 'Move more' was to walk around my 1222 sq feet condo unit which is obviously not good enough... Pffftt!!! (Again)

The solution is pretty obvious. I need to exercise but truthfully, I hate to sweat! I hate it when my face is filled with sweat and my body dripping with sweat and the hair is sticky with sweat. Bet you feel like smacking my head with something hard, right?

That is why I joined Yoga! So I could do something I like and have always wanted to do and lose weight. But guess what? It is the 3rd month and Pippa has lost 4 freaking kgs and yours truly? Nil, zero, kosong, telur!!!! Every time I step on the weighing scale, I'd close my eyes only to squint a little and peek at the miserable window where my even more miserable weight would be glaring back at me. My sister in law was 'melting' away her weight as soon as she started Yoga. Life is so unfair!

Ok before you call the whambulance for this whining soul, I have good news which is I am beginning to feel the urge to exercise and eat right and I am going to pray real hard that the urge would stay. I need to be fit because Pebbles is already starting to walk and she'd be soon running around and I need to be fit to run after her. That should be a substantial motivation, right? Plus I want to wear my jeans! It has almost been two years since I wore one.

Oh well, enough of me ranting about the never ending weight issue..but trust me, I am not like some women who go on lamenting about their weight gain when in actual fact they are as thin as a matchstick. Whenever 'such ladies' start complaining about their so called horrendous weight gain, I would cheekily ask them 'You put on weight on your nose?' I know I am mean but come on la! You don't whine about your 'invisible' weight gain in front of an obese friend! I know I am being harsh but I am talking about myself so that's OK.

So here's to making reasonable goals and achieving them.Will keep you posted on my success story (I am being incredibly positive, here) at the end of the year (Oh, don't worry, I'd still write but would not mention the 'W' word again till December)

Ta ta

Image from Queen of Sass, FB

The Translation Musketeers

We humans are social creatures. As much as I think I am an introvert, I truly enjoy the occasional chances of meeting new and like minded people.

The translation class I was attending for two weeks ended with an exam last Saturday and I find myself missing my classmates very much. True, I dreaded every time I had to drive for almost an hour to get to class and it took me longer time to get back home simply because I don't like driving but I did find myself enjoying the classes very much. Maybe because it had to do with languages which I am falling in love with once again but I also fervently believe that it was the colourful characters the 17 of us displayed during the entire 10 days we spent together. There was never a dull moment with these ladies. It's amazing to know how we can 'click' so easily and how we can actually converse about any topics under the sun! It further reiterates that we SAHM are not boring, people (pls throw away that primitive perception of yours)

There were 3 women in the course whom I was drawn to especially for their special qualities. First is Kak Sha who sat next to me in class. At a glance, she would remind you of Queen Elinor of the Brave cartoon; poised and elegant and she speaks gently with everyone.I liked the fact that she matches her watch's straps with her outfits. It somehow made her appear to be someone who you shouldn't mess with. She always paid unwavering attention in class and also let me use her dictionaries (such a kind soul) Kak Sha is a firm believer that learning is a continuous process and has already attended a myriad of training programs since she left work a year ago. A mother of two grown ladies, she doesn't look a day older than 40 and she is already planning to pursue her studies in Social Science! (She has a degree in Physics, u guys! She said Physics made sense as compared to Chemistry and Biology. I was like 'What?!' ) And she is so tech savvy all because she wants to be able to understand the Information Age, her daughters are navigating in.I have resolved to be just like her when I grow up :P

Next is Rachel who doesn't wear a watch. I must say this because who doesn't wear a watch these days?!!! Well except Rachel and my husband, of course! A person bursting with so much energy, Rachel speaks with her hands which is they go all over the place. She becomes very animated when she is telling a story be it about her super adorable daughters or even the food served that day. She is such a delight to be with. A person who loves to talk, Rachel is also a remarkable listener. She listens to you and comments accordingly ( she has to comment, I meant that in a good way)

Finally, Zaitul. Like me she is at class very early ( before 8am, class starts at 9am) to get a good parking spot but unlike me she is a good driver. Zaitul is the quiet one but is extremely funny when she chooses to be. We have breakfast every day together and we are always talking about our kids and laughing over the silliest things. She sits in front of me and Kak Sha in class so we often discuss our exercises together. Being a victim of mental bloke, I always ask Zaitul the translation for the simplest words. She replies me with the answers but not without giving me the look which literally says 'seriously, you didn't know that?!' and that always cracks me up. She likes to read the texts aloud and feels that it is her absolute responsibility to add life to the characters in the text which is very hilarious. She knows how much I hate driving and on the day of our exam, it was raining cats and dogs and obviously yours truly was shit scared but Zaitul in her usual funny way told me to stay calm, drive slow, use the indicators and cheekily added that I should use the wipers and not my hands to wipe the windscreen! I know, she is mean but we like her :)

All three women are equally good in the translation course hence me calling them the Translation Musketeers (Remember Arthos, Porthos and Aramis? I am D'Artagnan :P )

So in the two weeks, I have not only learn a new skill which is translation and also drive alone for more than an hour (it is an achievement, guys. I HAVE to mention it), I also found some really good friends.These 3 gorgeous ladies along with the others made learning translation class all the more fun and interesting. Thank you, dears. Now the real challenge begins; keeping in touch!

Me,Rachel and Zaitul before the exam.

Zaitul thought it would tarnish her image if she did monkey faces

The Love for Language

I love languages. As much as I would have liked to master more languages, age is proving to be a huge obstacle (Oh yeah, I am simply giving excuses). I have been undergoing translation class for the past week and and I am now onto the second week and trust me guys, it is not easy!

The first two days, we were inundated with nouns and grammar and our heads (my classmates and mine) were spinning like tops (Gasing). It is very interesting yet frustrating because the norm is we go with whatever that sounds right in our head (or heart) which most of the time is not right. Note: It's Martabak, guys not Murtabak..tee hee

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to assess some students who have applied for scholarship from a reputable company. This company hired another independent company to conduct the assessment and in turn this company hired a group of people with diverse backgrounds to be assessors all in the name of being neutral, me being one of them :)

Honestly, I was a little disappointed with the command of language these kids had. They could neither speak fluently in English nor Bahasa Melayu and it was saddening. I don't know, maybe I had very high expectations but the general comments from the other assessors were of similar nature besides commenting that the kids were not putting in much effort. They are the future of our country!

Coming back to the topic of language, I rarely meet someone who can speak both English and BM fluently and I find that very odd especially people of other countries can converse comfortably in their mother tongue besides English. So who is to be blamed? The education system? Our parents? Or ourselves? Or is it something inherent? Don't you find it disturbing that a Bangladeshi can speak BM more fluently that our kids? I do! I think they are highly adaptable in mastering languages.

I am as guilty in not being fluent in these two languages. I speak and write proficiently (I think la) in English. Sadly after school, I don't speak and write fluently in BM anymore. I love BM. It's a beautiful language and I have already made a mental note in ensuring Pebbles be fluent in English, BM, Tamil and Mandarin.

The past few days have taught me the importance of writing and speaking right in both languages and it is so much fun learning to do just that. One of our instructors even mentioned that one good thing in doing translation work is you get to be smarter as you tend to be on the look out for new words and also constantly correcting/translating sentences mentally which is so cool (Who wouldn't like that?)

Personally, I get so worked up when I come across Malay phrases that have been modified with English words in it to appear more hype like kipidap = Keep it up, doter= daughter, sukses=success and many more. Come on guys, cintailah bahasa kita!

Although the year is almost ending, I have made a resolution to learn how to speak and write both languages excellently. How about you?

Image from Google