Wednesday 30 December 2015

Bye Bye 2015 & Hola 2016

I can't belive that 2015 is at her very last day. I feel that way because typically on a new year's eve, I would be busy spending time with my diary and probably cleaning up the house to usher in the New Year as a clean slate.
Instead I am at my in law's house sitting next to Pebbles who is asleep after taking a bout of medication.Poor baby n hubby are recovering from flu and fever and she has a nasty attack of diaper rash. So you can imagine how the past few days have been for me. I was frantic and I actually sobbed out loud when her toy hit my toe.It was super painful and in sadness I lamented that I was not being a good parent and I don't think I should have more children etc. I am a drama queen no doubt about that.
Just two hours ago when I was chasing after Pebbles who has taken a liking to my father in law's colourful tablets, I wished I had a fairy godmother.And if she was to grant me a wish, I would say that I would one night alone at J.W Marriott Hotel. Just to sink into the heavenly bed with fluffy pillows and to have an uninterrupted bath. Talk about wishful thinking...sigh
So 2015 has been an eventful year for me.I quit my job, started yoga,dabbled in blog, attended a course in translation & editing and passed (yay!), making my way slowly into the spiritual world and made some great friends. So if I am to think what would my new year resolutions be I supposed I should break them down into a few categories:
1.Physical
I will continue practicing Yoga. I will eat healthier (I have too!) and exercise
2. Mental
I will focus on maintaining my energies well so I am balanced and don't get stressed up too easily. ( Keeping my fingers and toes crossed)
3. Financial
I will strive to be empowered financially.
4. Spiritual
I will continue to explore the spiritual world and reap its benefits. Yay to powerful subconscious mind
5. Career
I am not sure how soon I will get into the full time working world but in the meantime I will utilize all the skills that I have and have acquired to do something worthwhile
6. Social
I have always had issues with self esteem.So here's to higher self confidence which would in turn improve my social life.
7. Family
Tough one.I am a mother of one and I hope to continue to be that for 2016. Baby no.2 can wait for a while.As usual I aspire to be a better person in the various hats I don: daughter, sister, wife, mother, aunty, daughter in law, sister in law, niece and granddaughter
Here's to a better year ahead
Bring it on, 2016
I share the same sentiments

Monday 21 December 2015

Chemistry is the word

Hubby and I went to watch Dilwale the other day. A Hindi movie starring the darlings of Bollywood; Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol.

The movie was so-so although I admit I was laughing so much till my sides ached at some scenes and Kajol is absolutely lovely to look at. She has aged beautifully now that she is in her 41st year. In fact she looks far more beautiful than she did 20 years ago.

Thinking hard and analysing unnecessarily as I usually do,I couldn't help but feel amazed at the chemistry she and SRK share on screen. I mean they just have to glance at each other and you know that a thousand words have been spoken between them. This brings to my question, would you not find it disturbing if your spouse shares a sizzling chemistry with someone else besides yourself? Wouldn't it be more disturbing if you do not have chemistry at all with your spouse but you have it with someone else? Gasp!

Is that why affairs occur? *cringe with fear*

Of course they are actors and they are supposed to emote wonderfully but it is just something about these two that makes you feel that true love exists and your heart does skip a beat for that person..sigh..told you I am a hopeless romantic.

Bollywood movies are famous for the sappy storylines but no actors in the world would convey messages through their eyes as effectively as Bollywood actors and actresses.I don't think there is any other pairs like the SRK-Kajol duo that can create magic on screen and that chemistry alone can be the saving grace of any movies.

May we continue basking in the magic of Bollywood films.

My cheeky husband had to say this when I posed the question to him 'Darling,why you need chemistry when we have biology?' haha I seriously think he should be a stand up comedian to generate extra income.



Image from Google

Sunday 20 December 2015

A plea for the soon to be wedded Hindu couple

The wedding season is over for the year. I meant for the Indian community as the Marghazli month has dawned upon us. This is the month the priests will be super busy with temple festivals amidst combating the monsoon season in India (So that is why Hindu weddings are not conducted during the Marghazli month which is technically from Dec 16-Jan 13).

I have attended a number of weddings this year partly because I love weddings (and I was invited to them, duh)and also wedding planning is something what my husband and I do as well. What I have observed throughout this year is that many of the brides and grooms had demanded to cut short the rituals in the name of having a simple wedding.

Unlike the weddings of other races, the Hindu wedding is conducted in the ancient language of India which is Sanskrit and obviously most of us do not speak the language any more thus the problem of not understanding the rituals involved. Therefore many of the soon to be wedded couple decide to forgo some rituals to give way for more time for photography sessions and also entertainment for the guests.

It saddens me when many of them demand to have a 'simple' wedding but spend so much of money on the venue, decorations, entertainment and other things by being oblivious to the fact that the Hindu wedding is steeped with so much blessings for the newlyweds.

A Hindu wedding celebrates the fact that it takes a village to raise a child thus the rituals always involve the uncles and aunties of the intended bride and groom. Each ritual from the coconut breaking to getting the blessings from the parents signify the importance of family ties and values particularly respect.

One of my favourite pastimes is watching wedding videos on YouTube ( I call that doing research for wedding planning) so the other day, I came across a wedding video of a mixed race couple. The bride is an Indian and the groom is a Mat Salleh. He looked dashing in the traditional attire and even his parents wore them too. He was at ease throughout the ceremony and my heart beamed with pride when he fulfilled a ritual called the 'Patham Pooja' It is a ritual where the bride and groom would respectively washed their parents' feet and receive their blessings. It is a poignant ritual as it signifies their eternal gratitude for raising them and conducting the wedding. So this white dude happily did the ritual and looked up at his parents with both palms together in the universal greeting and his parents smiled at him proudly. I doubt they understood the meaning of the ritual but they did understand the importance of it and took part in it without any qualms. When it was the bride's turn, her mother clung to her husband and sobbed because it was evident that she felt overwhelmed with happiness that her daughter was getting married and will be leaving the nest soon. Having watched that particular scene warms my heart because I know a couple who did not want to have this ritual because they wanted to save time. Seriously?!!

I find it incredibly silly when couples refuse to prostrate before their parents or any other elderly people. They deem it as an act of submissiveness when in actual fact it emphasizes respect and humility. Please get your facts right, people. It irks me when they say 'No way I would fall at their feet. Why should I?' I always have the strong urge to smack their heads when they say that.

Did you know that besides the part when the Thali is tied, another significant ritual for the bride is the 'Kanyathanam'? This is when the parents of the bride will give away their daughter to the groom and his family while the priest chants the mantra which basically means, 'Dude,I am giving you my daughter, you and your family better treat her like one of your own' (Of course the actual words are far more polite than what I have written) I always tear at this part of the ceremony.

It's true that the marriage is far more important than the wedding itself (wise words from my sister in law, SIL No.1) however most of us only marry once in our lifetime so why don't we strive to have a wholesome one? Instead of spending hours mulling over the colour theme, food testing, types of jewellery etc, do research on the wedding you will be having specifically the significance of the rituals. Ask the elderly people in your life or you can find out from the Internet. Spend some time chatting with the priest who will be conducting your wedding, he would be able to impart valuable information.Here I have attached a link on the significance of the rituals, I found from the internet.

http://tamilhinduweddings.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Hand-Book-Print-version.pdf

So my plea is, my dear soon to be married Indian couple, seek to understand the meaning of the rituals before you unceremoniously 'cut them' from the wedding plan. It is either you have a full blown wedding with the rituals intact or have one without them i.e registration or even the 'Archanai Kalyanam' a simple wedding conducted in the temple right in front of Lord Ganesha. Please don't 'butcher' the rituals just because you want to have a simple wedding. Conducting these rituals don't involve much money. Do seek to do the right thing at the right time.


As soon as Mr.(Always) Right tied the Thali around my neck, I gave the thumbs up much to the amusement of our guests. If only we can get married again, sigh :)

Tuesday 8 December 2015

Plans

For a person who plans ahead, I find it unnerving when my plans go awry. For the past one month, I have been living from day to day basis without a hint of planning. And that irks me. Partly because I don't like surprises and also perhaps it makes me feel unproductive.

Due to some circumstances plus the fact that we have one car, I feel shackled having not being able to carry out my plans.Throw in a baby with no definite routine, it's a recipe for changes in plans. Every night when I go to sleep, I will prepare a checklist mentally only to see it unchecked at the end of the following day.

You know how irritating that is? I used to bask in happiness whenever I cross out items in my to do list.Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than knowing I am done for the day and I was productive.

Ok, enough of whining, let's focus on a solution.Everything happens for a reason, right? So maybe this happening to me so I can be more flexible. I don't have to be rigid in ensuring I have a plan and I stick by it.Maybe for starters I should just have a framework of things that I need to get done and be cool and composed when things don't work out the way I want them to be. Easier said than done. I wonder how the others manage to do it? Do they work on some law of attraction? While I ponder on that, I should perhaps focus on eliminating procrastination from my life so I would be flexible and open enough to do A instead of the intended B.

I suppose I should do more people watching to find out how the others are more accommodating with changes in plans. The perks of a not working person; we could always come up with something silly and conduct research on it.

Ta ta

Wednesday 2 December 2015

A fine young lady

You know how I like to observe people and look out for their best qualities? After a long time, I found myself admiring a 15 year old girl who is none other than my hubby's cousin's kid.Technically she is my niece too.

In times where kids are now ignorant of good values, it is certainly like a breath of fresh air when I spend time with this young lady. She is pretty, smart and confident plus very grounded. She does not have a hint of smugness on her although it is apparent she is an all rounder; excellent in sports,music and academic.

What I like most about her is how attuned she is to people's needs. Simple example is when everyone is gathered at a place chit chatting, she makes sure no one is without a chair. And speaks to everyone!

My in laws are now staying with her family as my father in law needs follow up check at the hospital and unlike any teenager who would lock up himself or herself in the room, this young lady takes the effort in engaging with conversations with my in laws including my grumpy father in law. It shows what a sensitive soul, she is.

She is competitive yet plays fair and is close to her cousins. She is the oldest among the grandchildren so the rest of the kids look up to her. She is strict with them but also smothers them with much love.

I commented once to her father, what a great job he and his wife had done raising such a wonderful young lady and he simply answered that it is all her doing meaning it's an innate thing.

That makes me wonder how do you inculcate that in a child? How do I ensure Pebbles behaves the same way at 15?

My parents hardly lectured us on values but we picked them up along the journey of life.We respect the elders and offer opinions in a civil way and although we may not be brave or outspoken like nowadays kids, we had a fairly great childhood.

For a person (me) who has had self esteem issues all her life, I am amazed at how easily my niece navigates life although being imposed with burdens of being the first child of the family just like myself.Hubby as usual mentioned that sports helped her greatly in shaping her confidence and good values. I agree but I also believe she has the extra ingredient that makes her stand out from the rest of 15 year olds.

As old fashioned as I sound, I find it very imperative for a person to have respect.I firmly believe one gives and takes respect. Greeting people with a sincere heart is one of the finest quality a person can have and I am so glad my niece has that.

When you build your life on the basis of respect, you have already laid a solid foundation and the chances of going astray is very very slim.

This young niece of mine is going to go places and make a name for herself.I don't have a shadow of a doubt that she is going to lead a very contented life simply because she has it in her. As for me, as much as I am proud of the responsible and respectful young lady she has become, I am blessed that Pebbles has a role model to look up to.

I learn a lot from people I meet and mingle and from this niece of mine, I have learned to have an open heart and face life headlong.

Thank you, sweets..