Zootopia

I held a contest for the school-going nieces and nephews last December. They were supposed to write a 200 word essay on the most influential person in their life. Alas out of 6 only 3 responded so all three were rewarded. Two of them, D and H are in KL so I treated them to a movie and meal.

Although both wanted to watch Ola Bola, I managed to convince them to watch Zootopia instead simply because I was more keen to watch the animation. Ok guys, don't bite off my head, I will watch Ola Bola eventually to support the local movie everyone is raving about.

Needless to say, I LOVED Zootopia. It is a funny, fast paced and steeped with moral values kind of movie that every set of parents with kids should watch. I am not going to spoil the fun by revealing the plot but rather I am going to list down a few key messages I found in that movie.

1) ALWAYS believe in yourself
     Nobody but you MUST believe that you can do whatever you set your mind to do. Detractors are there in your life not to dampen your spirit but to toughen you up therefore be thankful to them.

2) Working very HARD is the key to success
     You have to have reasonable goals (reasonable? Go ahead and have OUTRAGEOUS ones) and work hard to achieve them

3) Do not 'HOVER OVER' your children.
    This message is exclusively for over protective parents. It is imperative to let your children follow their dreams. It is difficult to let them go but do it with a loving heart and (LOTS of) prayers.

4) NEVER underestimate a person's strength
    We are not GOD so never judge. A small person doesn't mean he/she is weak and likewise, a big person is not always strong.

5) NEVER EVER stereotype those around you
    I think this is the key message in this movie. Like I said, I don't want to reveal the plot but when you watch it, you will know it right away. Sadly, stereotyping people according to race, gender, body size etc is the norm now. It is imperative to know that we are all belong to the human race and we come in all shapes, colours, sizes, beliefs and cultures. We need to strive to live harmoniously in the only home we have, Earth.

Although it is a show about animals, it very much resonates with us humans. For movie addicts like me, you will be able to relate some of the characters to the iconic movies such as Godfather (sorry, an itsy bitsy spoiler alert) It was also heart warming to see the cinema packed with more adults than children (it was during the school holidays!) because adults are beginning to realize that animations are worth watching in the cinema too. I wonder when Hubby is going to get that revelation? :P

So please do watch it and I guarantee you will fall in love with the characters especially Flash the Sloth (oops, sorry again)

image from Google

Pronunciation

What do you do when someone you know, mispronounces a word? Do you correct him or her immediately or do you just keep quiet? As for myself, I (in most instances) correct them simply because it was pronounced wrongly and they should know the right way of pronouncing it.

However many a times, they often feel offended when the correction is done. My question is, why do you need to be offended? It is all part of learning process. I suppose when the 'corrector' does it in a condescending manner, the corrected's ego is bruised hence the feeling of being offended arises.

The solution is pretty easy. When you hear someone mispronouncing a word, gently pronounce the word correctly. DO NOT make fun of the person and tell the whole world of the small little insignificant boo-boo. If the person gets defensive, GENTLY explain that the word is pronounced in such way. If they are still all angry and defensive, BACK AWAY. There is no point arguing over the silly thing or do what I do. Google to find out the right pronunciation and feel all smug that you are right. At the same time, if you are wrong ADMIT it.

Now for the person who is getting corrected, there is no harm in learning from mistakes. The world doesn't end just because you mispronounced the word(s). Be the better person by saying 'Oh is that how that word is pronounced? Thank you' Just take it as a lesson so you would not be potentially embarrassed when you mispronounce the word in the presence of different groups of people i.e superiors, strangers or worse a person you want to impress! Again, there is no point being all defensive when you are corrected. If you are not satisfied, just turn to our trusted buddy Mr.Google and find out. Be gracious if you are wrong and if you are right, don't gloat. Show the person the reference and guaranteed you both would have a good laugh over it amidst learning something new.

I remember mispronouncing the word rebel which I used in the context as a verb. Although the spelling is the same, the noun is rebel but the verb is pronounced as 'ribel'. The person who corrected me made fun of me in front of my friends and I was very ashamed so that is why I swore I would not make fun of anyone else in the same predicament. I do correct people but I strive to do it in a tactful manner and why I am doing it is to do them a favour and not to appear as some Ms.Know-it-All.I have been told off not to correct them but I gently tell them it is important to speak and pronounce words properly and correctly as communication is an important tool in any kind of relationships. At the same time, I am totally cool to be corrected as I am open to learning however it has be done tactfully for I am a human after all :) OK OK I am plain sensitive.. Hehehe

So dear correctors and corrected, there is enough problems in the world so let's strive to be amicable when a mispronounciation happens! Here's to speaking the language correctly. Cheers!

Image from Google

A Love Story

We concluded the one month prayer for my Father-in-Law on Sunday February 28, 2016. A memorial book was published for him and I had contributed an article of which I wish to share here.

I once asked ‘I wonder how would anyone subject themselves to arranged marriages?! To marry a stranger and be with his/her family?!’ An advocate of love marriages, Suren and I dated for 6 years before we got married in 2013 and during those years, I was already fraternizing with the family to ‘ease’ my way into the Indrans’ household.

My perception changed when I started to get to know my parents in law, a successful alliance which was a product of arranged marriage. Both hardly knew each other prior to the wedding but the fact that Uncle Indran was Uncle Kuna’s (Aunty Archee’s older brother) good friend contributed to the strong recommendation that sealed the proposal.

Although they started off their relationship as strangers, they grew closer over the years and remained very much in love till Uncle Indran’s last days. The flamboyant and charming Indran was a perfect match to the sweet and endearing Archee.

Many who know this couple would perceive Uncle Indran as the dominant one in the relationship but the truth is although Uncle Indran was the head of the family, Aunty Archee was the neck that moved the head. Uncle Indran used to joke that he may be a Major but he always thought that he was the General and Aunty was the Major simply because he made all the general decisions in their lives and she did the major ones.

As long as I can remember, these two were inseparable. Uncle Indran only eats if Aunty Archee serves him and they ALWAYS ate together be it at home or at a party. At any functions, when Uncle Indran will be holding court, Aunty Archee can be seen giggling softly right next to him.

Uncle was always teasing her and she will slap his thigh playfully in return. I have often caught them sitting right next to each other in their own thoughts but looking blissfully happy. There was never a day, Uncle would not call  ‘Archee!’ out loud simply because he needs to have her by his side which she happily obliges.

Aunty Archee loves flowers and he made sure he gets them for her whenever he can. Aunty once told me that while they were travelling from Penang to Johor, he had stopped his car to pick some wild flowers for her. How romantic is that?! Unlike most men, Uncle Indran remembered important dates such as their registration day and wedding day and was the one who reminded her.

Although uncle was unwell and aunty took care of him, he was always watching out for her too. Ensuring she had enough rest and food, uncle enjoys nagging her and she basked in his concerns with her usual smiles. They were truly made for each other.

Suren told me that he had never seen his parents argue in front of him and his siblings. All disagreements were deliberated in private between them. Uncle Indran valued aunty’s opinions and this proved to be pivotal in the success of their marriage.

They were each other’s strongest cheerleader. Uncle Indran’s illustrious life was made possible with the love and support he derived from Aunty Archee. She was a contented woman because he encouraged her to pursue her interests. The dedication towards their relationship and the devotion they shared towards each other provided the basis of a happy home for their children.

My most treasured moments with Uncle Indran were meal times when he would be regaling me with stories of his army life. Sometimes he would slip tips on how to sustain a happy and harmonious married life. He emphasized on being each other’s pillar of strength and whenever something is ‘broken’, fix it not throw it. Be it a love or arranged marriage, when you apply this in your relationship with your spouse, a happy married life is guaranteed.

For the last few months, when uncle was at the hospital, she was by his side 24/7. Uncle himself had to reassure her that he was fine for her to go out for a while to get some fresh air. When he had to be in the ICU and she could not stay with him, she reluctantly followed us home only after Suren promised her that he would bring her back to the hospital early next morning. When uncle’s situation worsened, she put on a brave front as not to worry him but Uncle Indran was well aware of his situation but acted as though he did not know anything as not to worry her. This simple act of sparing each other’s feelings in my opinion is an act of true love.

When uncle slipped into unconsciousness and was being wheeled into the ICU, she clung to him and said ‘Darling’ repeatedly as tears coursed down her cheeks. When they told her that they needed to rush, she added ever so softly ‘I love you’ as she stroked his hair. That was when my vision was blurred by my own tears. It was too much to bear.

The family kept vigil at the waiting lounge that day but the hospital was kind enough to let Aunty Archee be by his side. At that point, his blood pressure was dropping steadily. I went in to see Uncle Indran before I went home. My heart ached when I saw Aunty Archee lying on his shoulder and gently stroking his arm, only stopping to give him small kisses on his hand. As much as I wanted uncle to be released from the pain he was suffering from, I wanted him to hold on a little longer for her to come to terms that her one and only love was going away. Eventually, he held on and was even responding by moving his head and arm whenever anyone spoke to him. That small window of miracle gave us chance to say our good byes and when he breathed his last, Aunty Archee said ‘Go in peace, darling’ That scene will be etched in my mind for the rest of my life.

To lose your husband who is your best friend, your lover and confidant is definitely one of the hardest things a woman has to go through. The depth of love they have for each other is immeasurable and those who know them have nothing but deep admiration for them on the commitment they both share.

Young ladies have always wanted to marry a man like Lord Rama who was believed to love one woman only, Sita and was devoted to her but I am convinced Uncle Indran was more than Lord Rama to Aunty Archee just as she was more than Sita for Uncle Indran. This is the kind of love story that warms your heart and makes you believe in soul mates and true love.

Although Uncle Indran is no longer with us, we would just need to summon a fond memory of him to relive the happy moments and I am convinced Aunty Archee has a lifetime of loving and fond memories of her darling to sustain her.

Uncle, your love story is inspiring, it will be a tough act to follow.

They loved to dance

Support System

I can't believe that I have not written for more than 3 weeks. I have been busy shuttling back and forth to Hospital as my father in law was hospitalised. And alas he passed away last Friday. It was indeed a very sad day for all of us.

The image of my mother in law pining for him will forever be etched in my mind. He let out his last breath surrounded by his family. After that the day passed by quickly as we had to rush back to Melaka to start on funeral arrangements. 

As the family went through the motion, I took a step back to observe the support system that delicately carried the family through the difficult time. 

Family and friends offered cash, kind words and food without having to ask. Some sat and held our hands, some hugged us tightly as we sobbed uncontrollably and others proceeded to share funny stories of my father in law to lighten the sombre mood.Aunty N came to give my mother in law a very tight hug and offered her condolences.

My sisters; Hazel and Pippa were with my husband at the mortuary comforting him as he cried and Pippa came to Melaka to take care of Pebbles while I was by my hubby's side. My parents came over from Ipoh on the eve of the funeral to lend some moral support and even Tara came over from Kuantan to pay her last respects. I love my family!

My father in law was a popular man and was loved by many. My SIL and I together crafted an obituary to best describe him and many were happy with it. We received so many wreaths and his send off was done in military style. It was poignant and left no one with dry eyes.

I followed my hubby to the crematorium and my heart ached when I saw him kissing his dad for the last time. He has lost his dad the person he looks up to and his heart was breaking.

The next day they collected their father's ash and before they poured it into the sea, they huddled around the urn and that was another sad moment. All of us took turns to throw some flowers into the sea along with the ash and I made a silent prayer to take extra care of my in laws.

My hubby and I have decided to take a month's leave and stay in Melaka to keep his mum company. Although she is very sad and is still crying, she seems to feel contented having little Pebbles running around. I suppose the family will take time to heal as well.

Family and friends continue to join us in prayers and offering food whenever they can. Every day, my mother in law is fielding phone calls from relatives who are overseas. The calls are helping her to assuage the pain she is feeling from the loss of her partner.

These past few days have taught me how imperative it is to maintain positive relationships with people around you at all time. We will never know when we need their shoulders to lean against in moments of distress.

From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you and appreciate the love and respect shown to the family. God Bless

Rest in Peace, Uncle Indran

To comfort

Certain situations allow us to know ourselves better. The recent incident of my father in law getting admitted to the hospital as his health deteriorated, made me realize that I suck at comforting people.

My mother in law was understandably inconsolable. Her whole world revolves around her husband. Seeing him emaciated was a blow to her. So there she was sitting in the corner in the waiting lounge while her tears coursed down her cheeks in silent. And what was I doing? Her younger daughter in law? I just sat next to her. I said nothing and did nothing. I was feeling numb inside. In order to avoid fearing the worst, I have acquired the skill of not feeling and thinking anything not even the positive thing.

My heart on the other hand was telling me to comfort my mother in law. 'Say something' 'Hold her hand' but my head said 'No!' Best not to say anything foolish and make her sadder. So there I was torn inside while my mother in law sat staring at the blank space.

Out of the blue, a lady appeared and embraced my mother in law. Aunty N is a family friend and her husband was admitted in the same hospital. When she heard about my father in law's condition, she sought out for my mother in law.

I couldn't hear what they were talking but I saw my mother in law crying in Aunty N's arms while she stroked her and spoke in a firm voice.

My husband then introduced me to her son who was his friend as well. While we were trading stories about our respective kids, Aunty N approached us and told my hubby that we needed to be strong. Her exact words after that were ' Don't manifest and foresee' Those words struck a chord within me. My father in law may be weak and his reports did not look promising but he was still here and we needed to avoid fearing the worst.

I knew then God sent Aunty N to us to pass this message and that night we held a prayer rally for my father in law and by God's grace, the very next day his condition improved and is still continuing to improve.

I met Aunty N again the next day. Her husband was in the operation theater undergoing a procedure but she still sought out my mother in law and continued to comfort her. She advised us to pray and that's the best we can do. She even added that God made her and my mother in law meet because He wanted them to comfort each other. And she commented on how some people go on lamenting why they needed to suffer (You know, the universal 'Why me?! question) to which she simply answered 'Why not?' and continued saying that 'One is not special to be spared of hardship'. Which is true because God doesn't test us unless he knows we can endure it. Deep, huh?

Aunty N spoke in a simple manner but her messages were powerful. My mother in law seems a little less worried now. She seems more determined to get her husband out of the hospital at the soonest. When she is not talking, I find her reciting some mantras. Although my father in law is still in the hospital, he is out of the woods and we are convinced he is on the road to recovery albeit a long one.

We are truly grateful to meet the wonderful Aunty N. She made us realize how important is it to send out the right messages to the universe so we get the results we want.

God works in mysterious ways and he gave us Aunty N to put us on the right perspective when we thought the future seemed bleak. Most importantly, she has taught me to learn how to comfort people and to say the right things. It doesn't matter if they want to hear it or not, it is my job to deliver the message since giving is always way better than receiving, right?

Thank you Aunty N and may god bless you always.

Image from Google

Procrastination

I read sometime ago in Facebook that procrastination leads to heart diseases. Gasp! I am the Queen of all procrastinators. Writing these two sentences are already making my heart palpitate.

Apparently, procrastination magnifies stress, reduces performance and leads to poor health. Oh man, not good news at all. If you mull over this logically, it makes sense. When you put off doing something till the very last minute, your stress levels shoot up and that affects you badly.

So what's the solution? We first need to get rid of the negative mentality which means saying a big fat 'No' to two major debilitating thoughts such as:

1. I can't do this.

Solution: Take a deep breath. Free your mind of ANY thoughts. Take one step at a time. Write down your strategies or go over them in your head. It doesn't matter that you are doing it at a slower pace but at least you are doing it. You become more concious of it when you do it this way so there would be no room for mistake.

I applied this technique when I started driving to my classes. As you know, I hate to drive. The sheer thought of it makes my heart race. When I had no choice but to drive, I had to implement some techniques to calm my nerves and the above helped. I always map out the route in my mind before driving so I am prepared if unexpected things happen such as heavy rain or unbelievable traffic. And also I believe that I am the only driver in this world who keeps glancing at the rear and side mirrors every other minute :)

2. I don't think I can do it

Solution: Take a deep breath (again) and just do it (Nike has that right)

I had this mentality for years when it came to cooking. I just didn't think I had it in me that I can cook. I rather read a book instead of slaving at the kitchen but that thought changed when one find day, I found myself in the kitchen fixing something to eat. I was lazy to buy food from the nearby restaurant so I grilled some chicken and vegetables instead. It tasted fine and since then I have been cooking some really simple meals which are way healthier compared to food from the outside. Even hubby is shocked when he catches me watching some cook shows on the television.

Procrastination is Evil and we should do away with it. Take the first step to eradicate this nasty behaviour because remember, the journey of a thousand mile begins with a single step.

Good luck!

Entry inspired by Travis Bradberry's article on 'How to make yourself work when you're not in the mood'

Say No to this!

Image from Google

Bye Bye 2015 & Hola 2016

I can't belive that 2015 is at her very last day. I feel that way because typically on a new year's eve, I would be busy spending time with my diary and probably cleaning up the house to usher in the New Year as a clean slate.

Instead I am at my in law's house sitting next to Pebbles who is asleep after taking a bout of medication.Poor baby n hubby are recovering from flu and fever and she has a nasty attack of diaper rash. So you can imagine how the past few days have been for me. I was frantic and I actually sobbed out loud when her toy hit my toe.It was super painful and in sadness I lamented that I was not being a good parent and I don't think I should have more children etc. I am a drama queen no doubt about that.

Just two hours ago when I was chasing after Pebbles who has taken a liking to my father in law's colourful tablets, I wished I had a fairy godmother.And if she was to grant me a wish, I would say that I would one night alone at J.W Marriott Hotel. Just to sink into the heavenly bed with fluffy pillows and to have an uninterrupted bath. Talk about wishful thinking...sigh

So 2015 has been an eventful year for me.I quit my job, started yoga,dabbled in blog, attended a course in translation & editing and passed (yay!), making my way slowly into the spiritual world and made some great friends. So if I am to think what would my new year resolutions be I supposed I should break them down into a few categories:

1.Physical
I will continue practicing Yoga. I will eat healthier (I have too!) and exercise

2. Mental
I will focus on maintaining my energies well so I am balanced and don't get stressed up too easily. ( Keeping my fingers and toes crossed)

3. Financial
I will strive to be empowered financially.

4. Spiritual
I will continue to explore the spiritual world and reap its benefits. Yay to powerful subconscious mind

5. Career
I am not sure how soon I will get into the full time working world but in the meantime I will utilize all the skills that I have and have acquired to do something worthwhile

6. Social
I have always had issues with self esteem.So here's to higher self confidence which would in turn improve my social life.

7. Family
Tough one.I am a mother of one and I hope to continue to be that for 2016. Baby no.2 can wait for a while.As usual I aspire to be a better person in the various hats I don: daughter, sister, wife, mother, aunty, daughter in law, sister in law, niece and granddaughter

Here's to a better year ahead

Bring it on, 2016

I share the same sentiments