At a corner, I saw a youngster 'Salam' his mother and she grabbed him in a tight hug. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and that very scene hit me solid. Here was a mother sending off her child, her baby regardless his age and her heart was breaking. I hugged Pebbles tightly who at that point was squirming because she wanted to crawl on the airport's shiny floor (in her milk stained PJs,don't judge me!)
The journey back home was a quiet one. Pebbles fell asleep in her car seat. Husband was busy navigating the slippery road and I had my over active mind to myself. I wondered how would I feel if Pebbles was leaving home for studies or even for work? The moment I conceived Pebbles, I was already planning her life which included studying at the prestigious London School of Economics but now I am having second thoughts. Will I be able to bear the thought of separating from her?
I remembered my dad had tears in his eyes when he dropped me at my dorm and the facilitator announced to all the parents that they had to leave. I was puzzled after all I was at UM, only 8 hours away (by bus) from KT ('Get a grip,dad' said my little heart) Donkey years later, it finally dawned upon me that my father was sad to let his little girl go. He was worried for her safety and knew no one can take care of her like he had done (which is true because Pops is the best).
Now that I am a parent,I totally understand the anxiety, worries and concerns that accompany parents when their kids leave the nests be it for studies or for work. And since I was also a youngster (OK, donkey years ago) my concerns were all about getting new friends who can click with me, wearing the nicest clothes to class, getting good grades and finding a boyfriend..lol
I am pretty convinced that youngsters these days are way much different now compared to the majority during my time. With the concept of YOLO (You only live once) inculcated within them, many are striving to excel in their personal lives. They are well informed about the majors they can best excel in and are already charting out their future which includes working overseas (can't blame them, ahem ahem) But the fundamentals are the same. When they are about to leave their nests to spread their wings and broaden their horizons, their family (especially their parents and siblings) take a back seat when they decide to spend extra time with people who matter before they leave.
You find them worrying about the friends they are leaving behind, the comfort zone where all their meals are taken care of and clothes are washed as well as an ever ready ATM machines. Most would be busy thinking about themselves instead of the loved ones they are leaving behind. Well, your father might miss the morning debates about the country's economic status, your mother might miss nagging you, your siblings might miss borrowing your things without asking your permission and in return getting an earful from you. Family can be troublesome and not fun at all like your cool friends but always remember, Family comes first (My dad's favourite mantra) They are your pillar of strength. If anything goes wrong, you can count on your family to fall back on.
So my dear young friends, when you are about to leave the nest to embark on your new adventure, do spend as much time as possible with your family members. Don't be shy to tell them that you love them (So what, if they laugh at you? Laugh along!) If your mother and father cry, let them...don't mock them..you will always be their baby.. if your siblings suddenly become distant, get closer to them..they just don't want to miss you so much when you are not around...Spend some time talking about the good old days..build new memories..make them laugh and remember their faces because those are the images that will keep you company during the lonely days in the foreign land.
With the advance of technology, they would be 'closer' to you (I cringe to think of those days' communication lines) Do call or WatsApp them often with heartfelt messages (not only to get them to send more money la) I am not saying to be homesick and all but hey do have fun but be safe OK..no point being a daredevil if it is going to hurt your family 'coz it ain't worth it, buddy'
On another note, dear parents, do let go of your babies with a loving heart, blessings and prayers. With your solid upbringing, I am pretty sure they would be just fine (No harm in reminding them not to come back with a Mat Salleh girlfriend or boyfriend, though...just kidding!)
For those of who 'yang tak jadi' go overseas, don't fret..the local universities are OK (Well, I turned out just fine!) Your job is to visit your friends' families so they would not miss their kids so much (plus you get to eat home cooked food too). You are also required to sock your friends' faces if ever they come back with a weird 'Orang Putih' accent.Nothing beats Manglish, right?
So I am signing off with a message of 'All the very best' to you, young munchkins and I would also like to quote Amy Chua, the famous Tiger Mother: 'Be modest, be humble, be simple. Make sure you come in first,so you have something to be humble about'
Carpe Diem!
In the meantime, I am going to check UM's portal to see if they have an awesome Economic major for Pebbles to take up so she can be in my radar (at all times)..hah!
Image from Google
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