1. So, how is it like being a lady of leisure?
Seriously, leisure? The curious me actually looked up on the Webster dictionary to find out what it actually means and it says A lady who is of independent means and so does not need employment; one who is free from duties and responsibilities. A stay at home mother is free from duties and responsibilities?! Have you been smoking pot? So no, you absolutely can't equate the term lady of leisure with a SAHM simply because we WORK at home. Our duties and responsibilities are towards our family just like a FTWM (in case you don't know, it is Full Time Working Mom) and to add on, we earn peanuts for doing just that.
2. So, how do you fill your day?
Hmmm...let me see, I wake up and do my hair and nails and meet up with my chic ladies for breakfast and then go for a massage, meet my hubby for lunch and if possible try to spend some time with my almost 10 month old baby girl who crawls everywhere and who happens to love eating newspapers and batteries. Oh my god! What is wrong with these people? The irritating part is they have this silly smirk on their faces as though they actually think I am doing all that I have mentioned on daily basis.
3. So, you must be very happy being so free now?
Excuse me Uncle, please define Free? Just because I am at home watching over my child like a hawk (Did I mention she loves to eat the newspaper?) instead of attending some high powered meetings, I am free? I am happy but I am not free and definitely not SO FREE.
Ok now that I have got that off my chest, I am feeling much better. Honestly, these questions irked the hell out of me until recently (OK I admit, only 2 days ago) when I realise it is all about perception. It is all about how a person perceives us as SAHM. I know there are many of you out there who have been subjected to worst questions like 'You study so hard and you became a housewife?' Seriously dude, get a grip. If you are not paying us allowances, just zip it ok.
Yeah, we are not juggling work and family like the FTWM (I salute you ladies, by the way) but hey don't look down at those who chose to be SAHM la. There are many reasons why a mother chooses to be a SAHM and as for me, I took the decision to be with Pebbles for at least 6 months and find out if I have what it takes to be an effective SAHM (still finding out, guys) as opposed to bending backwards to please my boss and get subjected to ridiculous KPIs at work (Not worth it at all)
My former boss told me, being a SAHM is not for the faint hearted. It is an extremely BORING job which I totally agree. There are days I can hardly string a proper sentence in English because I spend the day babbling with Pebbles who at this stage enjoys clucking her tongue and I die for adult interactions with like minded people (My husband is Sports oriented)
Hey,I am not complaining. I enjoy every single minute I get to spend with Pebbles but who doesn't crave for a moment of uninterrupted meal and long naps or even a chat with a good friend via WatsApp? Every day is a new adventure with my darling Pebbles. Putting her on a routine proved futile and I always feel like I am walking on egg shells when she is asleep so I could get some chores done.
So guys, you see, we SAHMs have our own struggles too and instead of judging us for having it easy (I always feel like punching the person in the face when one utters the word, EASY or FREE, they are absolutely the Taboo words in my life at the moment) do support us in the name of Sisterhood of Parenthood. It is absolutely imperative to get the support from fellow mothers. Guys and uncles don't really understand so we ladies need to stick together, huh?
My sister, Tara and I are SAHMs but unlike her, I get to send Pebbles to the babysitter so I could get some work done with my husband. She on the other hand,has her cute like a button but extremely inquistive 18 month old toddler with her the whole day until her husband returns home from work. But my sister never once told me that I have an easy life because she understands I have different struggles like how I have to be with Pebbles at night alone when husband is away managing an event.
And guys, just because we are at home the whole day with our kids, it doesn't mean we are not capable of having a conversation with you at parties. I was once asked by a stranger at a party about my occupation and when I told her that I am a SAHM, she just said a tiny 'oh' and walked away! Like hello! I am more than capable of having a conversation about current issues, lady. Quantum physics? Bring it on. I was a little snubbed but I knew it was her poor perception on SAHM that made her act like that.
Talking about perceptions, I found an interesting analogy that defines perception in the simplest way. You see, an owl and a human perceive daylight differently. We are awake during the day but the owl is asleep and vice versa at night. For the owl, the daylight is nightime for it. Interesting huh? So yeah, I firmly belive that is how the others view SAHMs. That we are free, happy, have no worries, lucky etc but no all are true and also untrue.
Despite living on one paycheck, I have done quite a number of things as a SAHM, I have taken up Yoga, started meditating, started this blog and I am truly happy because I made a concious decision to be with my child and my husband supported the decision. If I had continued working, I don't think I would be truly this contented.That is all that matters to me.
So I can tell fellow SAHMs to just brush aside the hurtful comments or stinging questions that assail us by thinking it is all about perceptions because after all the grass is greener on the other side but I would also like to remind the none SAHMs; FTWMs and others please be more tactful in your interrogation sessions with us, SAHMs.
And remember, we all are in this adventure called Parenthood together albeit the backgrounds and beliefs we have.
Pebbles, just seconds before she reached for her Papa's watch and broke it by slamming it to the floor
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