Till Death Do Us Part

Title sounds a little morbid given the pandemic we are in, right? Well I am going to address the elephant in the room. The topic many people have been avoiding to talk about. The opposite of social distancing that is happening in the confines of your own home.

As many forwarded messages and memes are depicting how mothers are going to turn into wild animals since she is being cooped up with the kids, men who get kicked by their wives for playing football in the house and many others, the truth is many of us are truly nervous spending time with your better half in the closed confines of one’s home in this quarantine period. It’s pretty much similar to the first stages of dating him or her where you just want to show your best side.

This is how it is; you meet someone, date for a while, get married, have kids and life goes on. The evolution of the marriage is such: the giddiness turns into sheer happiness then contentment and then many adjustments to have a harmonious marriage. Having kids can be a deal breaker; your marriage either strengthens or weakens.

In my case, when I met my husband, I thought he was the most caring man ever (he still is in some ways. But I am no longer the center of his universe. The kids are) We are what one would say the classic examples of opposites attract. We are so different; I am the eldest in the family, he is the youngest, I am a flighty Gemini, he is the grounded Libran, his numerological number is 1 which often highlights the leadership qualities and mine is 9 which is somewhat a rebel to the 1. However, we are both Roosters; it’s not the perfect match in the Chinese zodiac because since Roosters will be pecking a lot that signifies a lot of bickering. Even in the Indian zodiac, I am the fiery Leo and he is the laidback Virgo. So, you see, despite these differences, we dated for 6 years and got married and had kids.

We were blessed to have our first kid very early in our marriage but that did change the dynamics of our relationship. We were responsible for another human being. Over time, I began to lose my coolness and I became more paranoid. Not of him but because of our kid. Most mothers have fear creep into their hearts and live there permanently when she becomes a mom. It happened to me too and it intensified when the second one came along. This paranoia of mine became the bone of contention in my marriage. It became the basis of all our arguments. The reason I realised this is because I did a lot of soul searching. Arguments suck big time. And when our ego is bruised it’s even worse. He is the cool dad and I am the high-strung mum. We both have different parenting styles too which in most times seem okay but when it’s not okay, BAM! Another argument happens.

The icing on the cake is we run two businesses together and because we are so different it translates into our working styles. And you got it right. We argue a lot at work too. And because we are partners at work and in life and we are so different, it may appear that we are arguing all the time and sometimes it gets dragged on for days!

Reading this may make you think, what the heck is making us stay together then? Trust me there is a lot of reasons. Apart from the kids, we love each other fiercely. It has evolved over the years but now and then we get to see the glimpse of what we used to be either through a gesture or a statement and that’s thrilling. And we are best friends. He is the one I turn to first when something vexes me or makes me happy.And we enjoy talking things through. I am also fortunate to have wonderful in laws (I have to say that coz most of them will be reading this, hahaha) there are so many role models to look up to and free counselling is available too 😊 My late father in law used to say ‘Fix what’s broken not throw them away’ and I always remember that when the going gets tough.

I have also realised how many people devote their lives to their children which is an admirable act, really. But it is important to note that our kids are really not ours and when they leave the nest, you are left behind with your spouse. Therefore, it is integral to have a solid foundation in your marriage. That’s the person you chose, you married and had kids with and with God’s Grace that’s the person you will live with ‘Till Death Do Us Part'

It is so easy to stay angry, pout and sulk for days, trust me, I do that but it is not healthy. For yourself and also your marriage. My sister in law who is a very successful divorce lawyer once told me ‘As much as you think he is at fault, you have to remember that you are not perfect too’ which simply means everyone is hugely flawed. Having that in mind has averted many potential explosive arguments at my end.

The relationship with my husband has no definite parameter. We live and work together so it is a herculean effort to separate our arguments; home and work. But after working together close to 5 years, I believe we have some sort acquired the art of biting our tongue before saying that well deserved snarky remark only to mull it over and deliver our counter arguments in a more positive manner. And this was achievable with a healthy dose of distancing between us. We live together, we work together but we also pursued our interests separately.

But now that we are thrown in together in a confined space, we have started to walk on eggshells again. It takes adjustment. When the PM announced ‘Take the time to spend some quality time with your loved ones’ I went like 'Easy for you to say!' I may sound ungrateful by stating this as our frontliners are out there combating the pandemic while I am whining about being stuck at home with my husband but it is a real issue. Everyone is making adjustments in their marriage right now. I have a sister who only used to see her husband during the weekends but now she sees him every day. I would like to know how is that going. Another sister whose husband has a fixed schedule of being away from home half the day is now at home the whole day. And finally, my youngest sister who is a newlywed but is confined in her 450 square feet house with her super restless husband who cannot stay at home for more than an hour. Everyone has struggles. The pandemic is a bigger problem but for those who can’t help directly and have been asked to stay put at home as an indirect help for the world to curb this problem has a huge responsibility too.

It’s not about being at home and watching TV all day long, it’s about staying sane. If you have a spouse and kids, it’s all about teamwork. Planning the meals, activities to keep the kids occupied, house to tidy up, these are activities that can fall under the purview of a tag team. Saying please and thank you go a long way when you are stuck in a small apartment.

Just the other day I came across an image that showed that the air quality has improved significantly because the factories are shut down which is great but there is another underlying problem, the factory workers have no source of income now and this is going to affect their mental health. The world is definitely combating a huge problem with so many underlying issues and consequences and if you zoom into one aspect which is home quarantine; the sanity of the people in the home is at stake too. Many interventions are now available; free channels on TV, online yoga classes etc but unless we mindfully repair ourselves from within nothing else is going to work. That’s why my favourite forwarded message is ‘Can’t go outside? Go inside’ which relates to doing some soul searching. What better time is there to do it than now?

                                                     Image from Google

It’s Day 5 of quarantine in Malaysia and by God’s Grace no major arguments between Mr & Mrs Smith here haha but reliable sources have shared that the quarantine may be extended therefore it is imperative to come up with plans on not to avoid having arguments but how to strengthen the relationship with my spouse. In my opinion, in a marriage, Love is not the most important thing but it is Communication. No one is a mind reader (unless you are) so what you need and want to say should be translated and transmitted accurately and effectively. Gandhi once said ‘Be the Change You want to See’ and it applies perfectly in marriage too. You want your hubby to be more affectionate, you have to be more affectionate too. A marriage involves two persons so it takes two to tango just like how it takes two hands to clap.

In this vexing time, let’s work hand in hand in ensuring we have a harmonious marriage which is the pillar of a balanced community. Let’s aspire to speak to each other with love and affection and continue showering each other with kindness and care. Most times, we are more caring towards strangers than the people who matter the most to us.

Here’s wishing you a contented marriage in time of Corona

Disclaimer: Despite the argumentative nature,we are truly fun people to hang out with

Ashes

My father in law has been gone for a year. I thought it would be nice to share what my husband wrote in his memorial book, a tribute to a man whom he considers as his hero.

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As I stood waiting with Shanthan and the rest of my family members to collect Appa’s ashes the next day we had cremated him, memories of my last conversation with him came flooding my mind against my will.

At 12.20pm on Thursday, I received a call from the nurses’ station in HDU informing me that they were going to transfer Appa to ICU. I rushed in with Uncle Visvan and when I saw Appa, my heart sank. He didn’t look good at all. I asked him how he was feeling and he shook his head.  I turned to ask the nurses some questions and I saw Uncle Visvan stroking his hair. I glanced at the monitor and his vital signs looked below normal. I asked him again, ‘Appa, how are you feeling?’ to which he replied softly while looking at me directly ‘I don’t feel good at all’. Seconds later, his face turned red, he let out a loud yawn and passed out.

I froze as though my blood chilled me from the inside and I remember thinking that my Appa is gone. I just stood there for a moment unable to react or even help him and was feeling absolutely useless. The doctors and nurses rushed to him and immediately gave him a cardiac massage. Uncle Visvan pulled me aside and I remembered a staff nurse telling me to call the rest of the family members who were waiting at the lounge to go to the meeting room so the doctor could speak to them.

I walked to them in trance and told them where to wait. In the background, I could hear Shamala and Amma crying while in my head I kept pleading, ‘Appa, please don’t go, not yet’. Minutes later, which felt like the longest moment of my life, the nurse called me back to the room and the doctors explained that Appa was intubated and had to be rushed to the ICU. I looked over at Appa, his eyes were closed and I thought again, ‘Will I ever speak to him again? I need to tell him that I love him or at least something more.

My feelings were on a roller coaster ride for the next 24 hours. The family support was in full force. Although I was talking to them and responding to the thousands of messages and phone calls, the last look Appa gave me kept playing in my mind over and over again. I went home to take a quick shower and when I looked at my child, I felt a profound sadness that Appa would not be able to spend more time with her as he did with Shivaran. 

I did say that I loved him at the CCU and always will and promised to take care of Amma and also strive to make him proud. I told him to forgive me for all my wrong doings and I kept on talking to him just to keep the awful memory of how he last looked at me at bay. My heart was breaking into a million pieces. Although I am now a family man myself, I still needed my Appa and I wasn’t prepared to let him go. Appa has done so much for me and one last thing he did was he didn’t make me the  person to inform my family that he was no longer with us and managed to stay on for another day so everyone could say their goodbyes.

The next few days passed by in blur and with so much of sadness. I was so lost. I just went through the motion of doing what was supposed to be done until the day we collected his ashes. I didn’t know how to comfort Amma who took care of dad like no one else could ever do as he was her world and of course he took very good care of her as well.

I insisted on driving. I wanted to drive Appa for one last time. Shanthan held the urn containing what’s left of Appa and I drove the ‘three’ of us towards the seaside to conclude the ceremony. While one hand was at the wheel, I touched the urn with the other. I know Shanthan was far away with his thoughts. Memories of car rides with Appa came to me as well as the tears. I played his favourite song on the radio, the one I remember him drumming his fingers to its tune. Without us knowing, we were approaching towards Klebang and memories of our younger days flashed through  my mind. Then came” Taman Muhibah” the place we lived most of our lives together. Shanthan and I thought we should drive him home for one last time. The car cruised silently into the lane leading to our house and the grim realization hit me. Appa is no longer with us.

At the beach, I saw Shamala breaking down at the sight of the urn and we three huddled around Appa for the last time. The mighty man we call Appa has been reduced to ashes and it broke our hearts to do the rightful thing a Hindu should do, to release ‘him’ into the water. For a while, time stood still, happy memories of my childhood and visions of Appa smiling happily at me sprang to mind. I know he will always be right next to me and nagging me as he usually does.

I can never ask for a better person than Appa. He was everything for me like how he was for Shamala and Shanthan and also his lovely wife. He treated each of his children equally yet differently. He understood I was not book smart like Shanthan and Shamala as he cultivated my strengths in being street smart. He knew I was keen on sports and encouraged me to pursue it instead of pressuring me to be a Profesional. Never once he compared my achievements with my siblings and for that I am eternally grateful as he allowed me to grow into the person I am with his and Amma’s love,support and understanding.

My wish now is to be the kind of Appa he was to me, to my daughter and if I can be a fraction of what he was, I would count myself as successful.

Thank you Appa for loving me and I will always love you.

Your Son,

Suren

 The little memorial corner at our house

The Wedding Speech

I was tidying up my bookshelf when I came across the guest book that was used during my wedding reception almost 3 years ago. In it, I had slipped in the speech I wrote and made during the reception. I thought it was a good thing to get it 'immortalised' in the cyber space :)

I have to warn you though that I am a big fan of the Academy Awards so you may find some resemblance to the flow of the contents but not the length because you have the orchestra to signal that your two minuets is up. My guests had no choice but to listen to me :P

So here goes...

Good evening beloved family and friends,

For those of you who don't know, I got married last Sunday to this wonderful man standing next to me and we are here today to celebrate the union of I daresay the bestest families in the world.

It has been a flurry of excitement for the past week which started off with a grand wedding in Melaka among closest family, friends and well wishers. There were 900 of them. Followed by an awesome party, the Melaka style at the residence of my darling sister in law and her dashing hubby. It was a magical night filled with fireworks, a lot of good food and booze, fantastic music and fun, laughter as well as a horse. (Dear readers, my husband and I rode in a horse drawn buggy from hubby's parents' house to his sister's which is about 300 metres away)

It took us 2 whole days to recover and then we set off for our family moon in the island of food haven, Penang. All 32 of us(ages ranging from 70 years old to 6 months old) enjoyed ourselves immensely amidst the cozy surroundings which helped to strengthened the family bonding (not that we needed hep in that department)

At this point, I am sure you are wondering why family moon not honeymoon. Well, to cut the long story short, both my husband and I come from families who value family above everything else. Therefore, it is only fair that we take this opportunity to thank them personally for turning us into the happy campers we are now. Brace yourselves, this is going to be a long speech.

First off, to my loving parents, Mr&Mrs N whom affectionately call Ma and Pa; there are no words to describe how lucky I am to have you both as my parents. You both are simply my pillars of strength. My only wish is to raise my children just the way you have. Thank you for supporting me in all my endeavours, motivating me when I am down and for simply being the greatest parents. I will forever be eternally grateful to you both.

Next, my three darling sisters who I never cease to boss around. Although I always tell people that you three are up for adoption, you know Akka loves you a lot. To Hazel, thank you for showing me that the sky is the limit. You never fail to amaze me with your relentlessness in pursuing whatever you have set your heart on. To Tara, I admire your patience and strong determination in bulldozing through the mundane of life. Thank you for being my sounding board. To my baby sister, Pippa. I am so proud of who you have turned out to be which is the exact replica of myself; kind, gentle and super nice. Thank you for being there for me especially during the last 3 months when we have been busy with wedding preparation. I know I was not an easy bride to work with. To all three of you, I will always be your big Akka till the day I die so you still need to listen to me.

My two good looking brothers in law; Jay & Steve, thank you for marrying my sisters and getting them off our backs. On a serious note, I see you both more as my brothers so thank you for all the support and encouragement rendered so far. Keep up the good work.

To the host of relatives at my side, my paati, my periappas, periammas, chittapas, chittis, mamas, attes and cousins with their families, my deepest appreciation for the love you have showered  to me and my family always. If god gives me the chance to choose my relatives again, I'd still choose all of you. You guys, ROCK!

Moving on to my parents in law, thank you for accepting me as your daughter in law. I know you had no choice because I made sure I was within your radar for the last six years but I am grateful anyway. I am blessed to be the daughter in law to a pair of in laws who have deep set principles and I am looking forward to receiving the teachings.

To my sister in law and her hubby, I can never ask for better role models. I am in awe of the effort you both had taken to ensure Hubs and I have the best memories of our wedding. You both are the ideal older siblings who shoulder the family responsibilities without any qualms. My fervent wish is to be half good as you both. Our deepest gratitude for all you had done and will be doing.

To my wonderful godson whom I can now proudly call my nephew, Sid, you are the epitome of the perfect kid; smart and witty with a touch of mischief. Thank you for teaching me about life from the eyes of a six year old. Can't wait to share more adventures with you.

To my brother in law and his wife, thank you both for being there for us and for all the encouragement, support and love you both have provided. Here's looking forward to celebrating wedding anniversaries together. (Hubs and I got married on the same day a year later after them)

To Leo boy, thank you for telling me to 'go for it' on that fateful day way back in 2007. If it wasn't for you, this would not have been possible. I am not intoxicated..yet so please believe me when I say you are my brother. Now and forever. Therefore please clean the bathroom when I tell you so.

To the M&S crew with appachi as the matriach, I have fallen in love with each and everyone of you. How couldn't I? It is indeed a blessing to be part of this fabulous family and I thank my lucky stars and past karma for that.

If it is true that men are like stars, with so many to pick from but only one who can make all your dreams come true then Hubs is my one star and I can't wait for the rest of our dreams to come true.

What can I say? Darling, yo are my soul mate, my mentor and my partner in crime. You've stuck by me through some really tough times and some of my best memories are of times spent with you. This might sound cliche but you truly did make me the happiest girl in the world when you asked me to marry you and I can honestly say that I'm proud to be standing here now as your Mrs. I know that life won't always be a bed of roses but I can promise you now that, whatever it tries to throw at us, I'll always be there by your side as your wife and your best friend.

I love you more today than yesterday but less than tomorrow.

Told you it was a long speech. Reading it again made me think that my sentiments remain the same and I am blessed for the life I have. It also made me wonder when will I go for the real honeymoon :P



*Names have been changed to protect their identity..hehehe

Me&Hubs

You'll be in my heart

Pebbles turned 17 months yesterday. My baby is growing up too fast. I found a phrase the other day that perfectly resonates my journey in motherhood; The days are long but the years are short. How true is that?! Pebbles now is a pro at giving bear hugs and sloppy, noisy kisses and also winking! I have no idea where she had learnt that from but she loves to wink and does it rather expertly.

Well life has become a little more routine now so I have a little more time (I would definitely have a lot more if I am just not so lazy!) So about yesterday, I was busy singing the ‘My Baby is 17 months old’ song that I forgot of another milestone.

As I was putting a rather defiant and squirmy Pebbles to sleep at 11.30pm, it suddenly occurred to me that April 11 marks the 100^th month of me and hubby being together! And I only realize that 30 minutes before a new day dawned (Since you are so good at math, you figure out when we hooked up..hehehe ) I felt bad for not doing anything special for him but I did cook dinner..wink wink

Hubby was surprised himself when I told him and he was sweet enough to come to bed earlier than he usually does (He loves channel surfing) So there we were in bed whispering sweet little nothings, marvelling at the fact that we have made it to 100 months and also counting our blessings which included Pebbles who was now was fast asleep and drooling onto her pillow (I don’t think I will ever have the elegant and poised daughter I dreamt of)

I stayed awake a little longer after he dozed off. After wandering how come he can sleep so quickly after talking to me but can stay up till very late to watch football and cricket on TV, I couldn’t help but smile at the sleeping person next to me whom I proudly call my husband.

My hubby is a very simple and straight forward man. He is sweet and understanding and extremely generous. The fact that we are total opposites keep our relationship fresh and exciting. But lately with the arrival of Pebbles, our relationship has taken a back seat as it would for many couples with children. Our number one priority is Pebbles. Although it is a norm, more and more studies are surfacing where there is a strong emphasis on maintaining and nurturing the relationship you have with your spouse because when the children leave the nest, you only have each other to lean on.

Being friends with your spouse is important and I am glad that my hubby and I have always been great friends. We can talk to each other about anything under the sun and laugh at as well as with each other. But nurturing a relationship is hard work and although we don’t argue much, we don’t talk much either due to work commitments, baby and also being too attached to technology; the idiot box and smartphones.

I know it is almost impossible to ‘bring back’ the glory of dating days but I am determined to bring some sparkle back to our relationship. It is good for both of us as well as for Pebbles who will thrive in a loving and affectionate environment. We may not be able to go on dates as often as we wish but there are many little thoughtful things we can do for each other and also together. The other day during our return trip from Ipoh, we played ‘Belaian Jiwa’ song by Innuendo on the YouTube and started singing it out loud. It was fun simply because we both love the song very much although we are tone deaf. It was a heartwarming moment.

The fact that he is wonderful to Pebbles is a bonus point. He is such a hands on father and readily takes her away so mummy gets some alone time. That thoughtful gesture alone is worth much more than any expensive gifts for me. Guys, always remember, you may not be the perfect couple for others but do ensure you are perfect for each other.

So dear Hubby, thank you for putting up with me for the past 100 months and here’s hoping you will hang in there for another few more hundreds. I love you very much and you'll be in my heart forever.

I heart this picture of us

Chemistry is the word

Hubby and I went to watch Dilwale the other day. A Hindi movie starring the darlings of Bollywood; Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol.

The movie was so-so although I admit I was laughing so much till my sides ached at some scenes and Kajol is absolutely lovely to look at. She has aged beautifully now that she is in her 41st year. In fact she looks far more beautiful than she did 20 years ago.

Thinking hard and analysing unnecessarily as I usually do,I couldn't help but feel amazed at the chemistry she and SRK share on screen. I mean they just have to glance at each other and you know that a thousand words have been spoken between them. This brings to my question, would you not find it disturbing if your spouse shares a sizzling chemistry with someone else besides yourself? Wouldn't it be more disturbing if you do not have chemistry at all with your spouse but you have it with someone else? Gasp!

Is that why affairs occur? *cringe with fear*

Of course they are actors and they are supposed to emote wonderfully but it is just something about these two that makes you feel that true love exists and your heart does skip a beat for that person..sigh..told you I am a hopeless romantic.

Bollywood movies are famous for the sappy storylines but no actors in the world would convey messages through their eyes as effectively as Bollywood actors and actresses.I don't think there is any other pairs like the SRK-Kajol duo that can create magic on screen and that chemistry alone can be the saving grace of any movies.

May we continue basking in the magic of Bollywood films.

My cheeky husband had to say this when I posed the question to him 'Darling,why you need chemistry when we have biology?' haha I seriously think he should be a stand up comedian to generate extra income.



Image from Google

Lucky?

I used to wonder what was the big deal when other women tell me that I am lucky to have my husband especially when he takes care of Pebbles i.e changing her diapers, feeding her food and giving her a bath. I mean isn’t parenting teamwork? Just because I am woman, is it my responsibility to attend to our child’s needs solely?

I am more than happy when my husband does all this for our daughter and he does it without a word of complaint. He loves spending time alone with her too. The other day, he took her to the football field to watch Liverpool practice and I had 4 long hours of priceless solitude.

I have to admit that he exceeded my expectations when we had the baby. He was and still is so good with her and he is now a more hands on parent than I am. I remember being grateful (still am) for having a supportive partner to go through this adventure called ‘Parenthood’. The word lucky never crossed my mind.

I came across this blog while I was reading my FB news feed and what a spot on! People especially women should stop saying how lucky the other woman is for having a participating husband. We have a say in choosing our life partner so obviously we would choose someone who would be a great father to the children so what is luck got to do with it? Our kids are the ones who have no choice in choosing their parents so they are lucky if they have great ones :)

Read it.She is so cool

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/abi-oborne/five-reasons-i-am-not-lucky-to-have-my-husband_b_7875666.html

Can’t wait to tell her off when a woman tells me that I am lucky to be married to my husband *evil snigger*

-Written on July 31, 2015-

Sports

When my husband and I started dating,I was involuntarily thrust into the Sports World. He watches all kinds of sports not only Football.

Among all that he watches or follows, I got hooked on to 2 games; cricket and tennis (one team sport and the other individual sport ;) ) Both games are long and can be dreary but being the patient me, I enjoy watching them.

My husband plays friendly cricket matches so I used to follow him and watch him play. He is a bowler and although he may not be the best player (sorry darling) he is well versed with the technicalities of the game (or so I think). My first experience watching a world cup game was back in 2011. India was playing Sri Lanka in the finals. Being of Sri Lanka descent, my husband and his family were rooting for Sri Lanka. I was silently supporting India. It was an interesting game and the atmosphere was electrifying. Needless to say, India emerged as champions and husband was moody (he is a sore loser). But that match piqued my curiosity to learn more about the game and I turned to Google, my trusted advisor. Did I tell you I am a Googleholic? :P

Since I don’t cook and the way to a man’s heart is through cooking, I changed my game plan by equipping myself with knowledge about cricket and tennis and I can safely say my man is impressed whenever I offer nuggets of pertinent information about both sports :)

On tennis, I got hooked when I watched the Wimbledon final 2009 between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick. It was a long match and I was mesmerized by the way both players played. I also remembered the commentator describing each player; Federer a wizard and Roddick a machine. When Federer won, clinching the 15th Grand Slam, surpassing Pete Sampras’ record, I fell in love with tennis.I read all about it and even attempted to play the game which I failed rather miserably. Found out rather belatedly that I am a better spectator than a player

Although I an not sporty and actually a nerd, I love watching these two games. My husband preaches the benefits of participating in sports of which I wholly agree.We bond over these two games and I enjoy listening to him commenting (although I always double check on the accuracy of the information on Google) Can’t help it, I am addicted.

However for 8 long years, he has been pestering me to watch football with him of which I have vehemently declined.Football for me is too over commercialised and I find the players are spoiled (Just my thoughts, don’t shoot me, football enthusiasts)

Now that we have a child, I am all game to ensure she gets sufficient exposure in sports.Husband is very keen to get her to play one individual and one team sport and I am secretly hoping she would choose tennis and cricket (not squash or hockey, please) Squash; I don’t understand the game despite husband explaining it to me repeatedly and Hockey; I don’t want her to get hurt with the sticks :) Can’t help it , I am a mother!

It is never to young to start so we got Pebbles dressed in whites together with a white headband and made her hold a Wilson tennis racquet as we prepared to watch Wimbledon 2015 finals.

Too bad Federer lost to Djokovic but we still love him and we are happy to know that Pebbles have the same head of lovely hair as Federer’s…the soft curls

-Written on July 15, 2015-

My Husband

I dated my husband for 6 long years before we got married. We knew each other at the university but we were only friends then. We lost touch after we graduated but bumped into each other at the train station only to rekindle our friendship which eventually grew into love. We got married in 2013 and had Pebbles in 2014.

What amazes me is that he has remained the same person he is all through these years. He is an average Joe who is highly likeable by anyone who knows him and he is such an amazing dad. He is more hands on with Pebbles than I am. Strangers who meet him feel almost at ease with him and people trust him easily

With me, he has always been selfless. He makes sure I get the food first, have enough rest and is constantly looking out for me. He does it so effortlessly and never asks anything in return.

In this day and age, it is so rare to find someone like him. Mind you, he is not imperfect. He has his flaws and weaknesses but his good side carries far more weight. He is a loving son and a doting sibling. My dad thinks the sun rises and sets on him. He is a playful and teasing brother-in-law to my sisters and have I told you what an amazing dad he is to Pebbles?Oh well,I’ll just say it again.

I married a man who doesn’t ask for much yet goes through a lot of pain to make sure his wife is happy. I admit I am not exactly an easy person to live it. I wouldn’t even marry myself! Whenever we argue, I’ll be shrieking like a banshee but he’ll just remain quiet and lets me get it out of my system. And then when everything is settled, we’ll talk it through where he will cleverly put in his points and lets me see things his way. I know, it’s sneaky but it works.

We both are the same of age but somehow he is far wiser and what I really admire about him is that he is a cool dude. He remains unfazed in the most dire circumstances and that is indeed an admirable trait.

It troubled him when I told him that I wanted to quit my job to be with Pebbles simply because money was tight (still is) but when he saw how my heart was breaking when I had to work late into the nights doing redundant work and missing out so much of time with Pebbles,he relented. I knew it was a tough decision but he let me because he loves me.

My husband’s only motivation in life is love. He is driven by love and he wants to achieve goals for love. I am indeed lucky to be married to this man and to continue learning from him.

Father’s Day is around the corner and I am so glad Pebbles has him as a dad because (again) he is simply amazing.

A toast to all the superb husbands and daddies.

-written on June 19, 2015-

Blessings

A week has passed since my last entry and oh my what many things have happened.

Firstly I spent the very first Monday as a jobless person. The elaborate version of this statement will be shared in due time.

Secondly, I turned 34. As a young girl, I always thought those who are in their 30’s are old but on the contrary I am feeling very much quite the same as I did in late 20’s.

Thirdly, I survived a family trip to Langkawi island. There were 9 adults plus 2 babies; ages ranging from 60 years old to 7 months. It wasn’t smooth sailing but it was not awful either. We did have a grand time. My favourite was the banana boat ride. The exhilaration I felt was so liberating. The hours we spent at the beach was indeed relaxing.

And finally, I had the weekend I have always wanted! Just me, hubby and baby Pebbles. We attended a birthday party for a two-year old and it felt simply splendid just to spend the weekend as a family of 3. Just us and no one else. I am just so tired of shuttling every weekend.

In short, a lot did happen in a week and I am just blessed to have a great family, an awesome hubby and a super cute and chatty baby.

-written on June 15, 2015-