No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!

That's the title of Nick Vujicic's DVD for young people of which I have added to my 'Must Watch List'.

I 'came' across Nick years ago during a program in the office when a trainer aired his video. I saw a limbless young man with an ear piece talking to a group of youngsters. He was funny and upbeat but his message of living life to the fullest and never limiting ourselves moved us to tears (I was sobbing so hard, thank god I had tissues to wipe away the snot).

You know how things happen for a reason? Well just over two weeks ago, I attended another training (I am a sucker for training programs) and the same video was shown. While this time, I could control my tears (OK I did shed a tear or two, I am after all a sensitive pooh), I focused on really understanding his inspiring message. Here we have in modern times, among us a remarkable individual who never let his condition to be a hindrance in life. Instead he saw it as a blessing to achieve so many milestones (do you know he can drive?) and has chosen to share his inspiring stories by becoming a prolific motivational speaker.

Just yesterday,as I spent some (OK, a lot) of time surfing the channels on TV, a show of Nick was on. This time it showed his gorgeous wife and adorable son (they are expecting another one now) It looked like a typical family of three just like me, my husband and Pebbles. I watched Nick as a whole person in fact he is and he is perfect. The joy, love and appreciation he emanates towards God, his family and friends are obvious. 'Coming' across him again had nudged me to write about him and spread his goodness to my fellow readers.

In the show, there was a scene where he was about to take a shower and he actually removed his T-shirt without any help! Next, he shampooed his hair by squirting some shampoo on his head and proceeded to rub his head against the wall. My heart swelled with pride (I am a mother now, I can easily 'swell with pride') Being able to shower by himself is an achievement he is proud of. The beauty here is Nick takes the effort and time to appreciate the little things we 'limbed' people take for granted. 

Nick loves the water. Although he would not be able to swim like Michael Phelps, he can be underwater for 4 whole minutes because the oxygen in his body does not need to be pumped to his arms and legs. He finds that cool and so do I. He can also play golf and even goes fishing!

The message here is, Nick may have the world's most supportive and loving family as well as friends but if he did not have the willpower to do what he wanted, he would have been a vegetable. Reflect this guys, how many of us spend the hours away wishing for better things in life so we would be happier? It is about time we appreciate the things we have in life and strive to do the very best. In my opinion, if the brain is the most powerful tool, then Nick's whole body is filled with brains. I don't have anything but deep respect for this extraordinary human being. 

For those who are reading this, I really hope you would be able to check out and share his simple yet powerful videos with your family especially the younger kids (I can't wait to show them to Pebbles)

Nick has a knack of making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I can't wait to see him in person and give him a bear hug. I am sure Pebbles would love to shower him with sloppy kisses on his handsome face.

What a gorgeous sight?

Nick with his son, Kiyoshi

Image from Google

My Grandmother-in-Law

I have many role models in my life;people I look up to for the admirable qualities they have. One of them is my mother-in-law's mother whom everyone affectionately calls 'Appache' . Today would have been her 97th birthday. She passed away last year in April and her absence is still greatly felt.

Everyone who knew her and touched by her simplicity would definitely be reminiscing about her on this special day including myself. Appache was the strong silent type. She is, in my eyes the epitome of someone who had lived to her fullest potentials and capabilities. Here, I am going to outline her exemplary habits which resonate with Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Some years ago, Appache left her house in Segamat to live with my in laws in Melaka as they did not want her to live alone in the big house. Although she was no longer living there,she ensured all her bills were paid on time and she even had a small book which she recorded reminders and notes so she would not forget (written in Tamil neatly).Every other month, she would ring up her children or grandchildren to find out who was available to take her to Segamat. She was aware of their schedule and took it upon herself to make arrangements to go to her house and even to her doctor's appointments.

During the only trip I followed her and my husband to Segamat, I was amazed at how detailed she was in her instructions to her house's caretaker and how she made sure she gave him the right amount of money to settle a few chores in the house. Appache was very meticulous.

Habit 2: Begin with End in Mind

Appache had a fall in February 2013 and fractured her hip bone and shoulder and underwent multiple surgeries. She was bedridden for a while but was determined to be up and about as she had some unfinished business to attend to which included attending our wedding in December 2013. 

Being the focused person she was, she worked hard to ensure she walked again often with the accompaniment of strenuous physio activities of which any regular person would have given up after a day or two. Not Appache. She always said that she never wanted to be a burden to anyone by being bedridden therefore she had the burning desire to be able to walk again and fend for herself.

She ensured she would not rest until all her affairs were put in order. She was 95 then. Needless to say, much to our happiness Appache attended our wedding without the aid of a wheelchair or even a walking stick. She had a big smile on her face as she showered her blessings on me and my husband on our important day; a sight that would never fade from my memory.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Nothing superseded family for Appache. Her family ALWAYS came first and this did not apply only to her immediate family members but also the extended ones. She was and is always seen as the regal matriarch of the family.

The importance of family and the need of constantly looking out for each other are the values she had effectively inculcated in her children, grandchildren and even great grand children.

Habit 4:Think Win-Win

My husband and I dated for 6 years before we got married. I used to follow him to Melaka now and then and had the chance of spending some time with Appache. Although she belonged to an era where 'unsupervised' courtship was not allowed, she never once chided me or my husband. 

However,using her experiences, she offered nuggets of advice in building long term relationships based on mutual respect and benefit which is prevalent in her family members' relationship with their own families. She also emphasised on the importance of building trust with your spouse. 

According to my mother in law, although Appache and her husband were 12 years apart and had different behaviours, they had a successful marriage based on the mutual love they shared for each other and for their family, a legacy which I am determined to continue.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand than to be Understood

Apache undoubtedly was the world's best listener. She was emphatic and gave her honest feedback. If you needed a secret keeper, she was the one you would go to. I had, on many occasions confided in her and in her gentle ways she had given me assurances that things would get better by including me in her prayers and also reminding me to believe in myself. She was direct yet tactful and honest yet sympathetic, a rare quality indeed.

Habit 6: Synergize

Although Appache was determined and focused, she was not hard headed. She was definitely not a believer of 'it's my way or the high way' but definitely a staunch believer of 'our way'. She was aware of her limitations and often she was chided for wanting to do something which may appear as inconceivable to others so instead of surrendering in despair, she sought new and better alternatives. With this attitude I believe Appache was more than capable of running this country instead of you know who?! 

Habit 7: Sharpen your Saw

Although it seemed like her life revolved around her family, Appache knew the importance of maintaining her effectiveness. She was an avid fan of cross stitch, a great cook and had green fingers. She was aware of the importance of eating right to maintain maximum health and was a devout Hindu.

Appache's life was not without tragedies. She lost her father and youngest sister to Typhoid at a young age. Her 6th child died at the age of 9 after a bout of sickness. Her husband died in his sleep. Her first born whom she was very close to as he lived with her in Segamat and also only 17 years younger than her passed away right after celebrating her 79th birthday. All these incidents devastated her but they did not make her a bitter person instead they reinforced her beliefs that nothing is permanent in life and life must always go on, a phrase which is easier said than done but she practiced it.

Appache had far more qualities than what I had written but I wrote this specially for my husband who is now at a juncture in his life where he needs Appache's guidance, love and support more than ever. I hope he finds some solace in reading this because we all know she is watching over us from above as our guardian angel and will forever have our best interest in her pure and loving heart.

Happy Birthday Appache. We miss you

Appache blessing us on our wedding day

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

It's all in your mind

That's my husband's favourite mantra. And it is sooo true.My simple and down to earth husband who preaches sports is the way of life (not Yoga) firmly believes that whatever you do, it's controlled by your mind. I totally agree with him except when he says 'Darling, it's all in your mind' whenever I complain of period cramps (that is when I feel like murdering him. What does he know about period cramps, heh?)

That aside,my biggest fear in life is losing my mind. I am so 'attached' to my thought processes that I am afraid I would literally die if I lose my mind. I know technically, I would not know that I have lost my mind when I do because I have lost my marbles, right? (have you guys given up on me, already?)

Being an avid reader, I am familiar with the contents of books such as Law of Attraction by Michael J. Losier, Secret by Rhonda Bryne, Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and the likes. The main message in these books was to set a positive intention and focus on your goals.

In the beginning, I was reading all these lines and understanding the concept on a superficial level. I understood the context, felt empowered but never practiced it until I became a SAHM and had all the time in the world to do some reflection. (between changing diapers, feeding and cleaning up the mess after Pebbles. Did I actually say I have time?)

Well, last week, I had the chance to attend a program (I promise, I would write more about it soon) which reinforced the idea of conditioning your mind to be a powerful tool and attract the good things you want in life such as a healthy life, a big home, travel around the world and whatever you want. I studied Science in the university so naturally my curiosity was piqued when scientific terms were used such as Reticular Activating System (RAS) and Amygdala. 

RAS is like your Google Search. For an instance, you are pregnant and obviously you would be craving for some yummy desserts (for me it was the chocolates) RAS will automatically 'find' the database for you where you would miraculously find desserts shops wherever you go! (How cool is that?) Therefore it is imperative to constantly emphasize the good points instead of bad ones. Like when you say 'Don't eat the newspaper, Pebbles!' in her curious cute little brain, she would only register to 'eat the newspaper' (By the way, it's a true story. Pebbles loves to eat the newspapers!) So yeah, say the positive things and mean it, peeps.

Amygdala on the other hand is your Alarm system that makes you doubt yourself (No guys, you can't surgically remove it, unfortunately) Let's say you want to go bungee jumping with your friends. Although you seemed all psyched up, you may have this nagging thought in your head which might say something like this ' You wont do it, you are afraid of heights remember. The safety equipment is not 100% safe. People have died during bungee jumping. You could die too' Sorry for sounding morbid but that's what the Amygdala does and it is superbly good at it.Moral of the story, don't pay too much heed to Mr.A

Since I have been thinking about conditioning the mind, my RAS had cleverly 'introduced' me to the founder of Isha Kriya, the famous Sadhguru. My husband's uncle gave me this DVD of Sadhguru's teachings in April and only today I watched it. Even Sadhguru had emphasized on the power of the mind and the magnificent things it is capable of doing. I loved it when he said 'There is no superhuman. Being a human is super' Deep!

So there, as of now I am an advocate of mind conditioning. You want good things in life, think of the good things only and believe in them, you will get them. Tell that the Amygdala of yours to 'Zip it!' And practice, practice, practice so the neurons in your brain stay active. After all, practice makes perfect

The mind is a powerful tool so use it POSITIVELY just like how my hubby says, 'It's all in your mind, darling'

Image from Google

Nurture that Neurons of yours

Hyperconnectedness

I came across this phrase when I busy browsing through a magazine while I was getting my toe nails done. It was an article about the founder of Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington who mentioned how she changed her life for the better when she faced the demon called hyperconnectedness in her life.

Obviously it made me reflect on my own habits. I have a Facebook and Instagram account as well as numerous WatsApp groups which I check countless times throughout the day. And I am a Google-holic.

I am a self proclaimed Facebook addict. There was once I came across a link in FB which said something along the lines of 'the dangers of checking FB updates frequently' understandably, I did not open the link. I check for updates on what's going on in my friends' and family's lives, the healthy recipes for my baby (of which I have not tried out at all, OK maybe only one) and also news updates (I don't read the newspapers except for Saturday's) I don't post comments or statuses often but when I do, I am always checking if someone had commented or even liked it. The other day, I said something about tattoos and got upset that my husband did not comment at all (still am) Before you think I have gone deranged, kindly allow me to outline how FB has 'made' me a better person:

1. I always know what people (that matter to me) are up to so I can provide prompt information when others enquire about their whereabouts (I refuse to admit I am a busybody)
2. I have learned how to be sassy thanks to Aunty Acid (I love her!) and Queen of Sass
3. I have learned how to crack some laughable jokes thanks to Humor meets Comics (you guys have to add it in your FB)
4. I have learned how to 'extend' my research based on information shared in FB such as 'Did you know?' and all the parenting and baby related posts
5. I share and practice the affirmative postings
6. I read up about Famous people and easy to apply techniques 'like how to be successful' thanks to Robin Sharma

So you see, there is a whole lot of great things in FB that you can read, watch and rejoice over. Social media is the in thing now so how can I be left behind? I spent a good 2 hours daily checking my FB and about 30 minutes on Instagram and ALWAYS checking my WatsApp messages. I have been toying with the idea of a Twitter account but I have to deal with some time management issues here before I sign up for one. I feel so'connected' to these that sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough! OK you can officially call me cuckoo now.

I am on my smart phone when I pat my baby to sleep (she sleeps face down so I don't feel guilty of not paying attention when I pat her to sleep, like seriously?!), when I watch TV (because I need to know the ending of the movie before it actually ends and also the biographies of the cast members),when I eat alone (I don't want to be alone with my thoughts!) when I am in the car (between giving monosyllabic responses to husband and singing rhymes to Pebbles) and when my brains are not stimulated like boring conversations (which is utterly rude, I know)

I realize it is a bad thing but I just can't help it. Pebbles is at the exploring stage now and she can 'outcrawl' me anytime. She is constantly on her knees and hands and there was one time when her mother was checking FB updates for the 5th time (it was 11am, ladies & gentlemen) she threw the remote control on the floor to pop the batteries out. When I looked up at her, she had two red AAA batteries in her mouth!!!! Thank god I caught her on time! I still cringe when I think what could have happened if I didn't (Bad mother!)

Sometimes I can't sleep at night wondering why no one had responded to my WatsApp messages when I do that promptly (pathetic, huh?) The last thing I do at night and the first thing I do in the following morning is to check my smart phone for FB updates and WatsApp messages as well as Instagram posts (do you guys have 9Gag? They are hilarious!)

Sometimes to 'combat' this problem, I give myself 'challenges' like not checking FB for the whole day (I would then deliberately stay up till midnight to check it.Shameless, I know) or switch off my data plan for the whole day and I will go through the whole day like a druggie with severe withdrawal symptoms.

So yeah, I am still struggling to deal with hyperconnectedness to have a better quality of life. Basically, I want to be 'present' in all situations and live each second of the day without thinking 'who has uploaded what' in FB,Instagram or WatsApp. Tough but I am working on it, how about you?

I am off to play with Pebbles now (ok after I share this entry in FB) 

Image from Google

This is soooo Me!

Happy Birthday Roger Federer!

The EPL season has started. When many men will be excitingly watching and analyzing the games while their spouses lament over the lack of attention, I planned to write about Roger Federer.

You see, he turned 34 years old today (8.8.2015). He is the same age as my husband and I and is also a family man. Unfortunately, the similarity ends there between the three of us.

RF has been hailed as the greatest tennis player of all time. Winner of a record 17 Grand Slam titles and a holder of many other records notably holding the world's No.1 position for about 300 weeks, this man is a force to be reckoned with. At an age where many tennis players had called it quits or nursing multiple injuries, RF is at No.2 and still playing as gloriously as ever (OK maybe only to my eyes but you can't deny the fact that he is a legend)

One stark difference RF has between us is the amount of prize money he has won (US$ 92 freaking million, Source: Wikipedia) As for us, let's just say that I know exactly how much I have in order to pay the bills next month...Sigh!

I first 'noticed' Federer during the the historic finals of Wimbledon Open 2009 in which he played against Andy Murray and I remembered distinctly that the commentator called Federer a wizard and Roddick as machine on the court and I thought he was right. RF was creating magic that day and still is.

It's simply beautiful to watch him play. He is poised and steadily consistent. I don't think I have ever watched him grunt in despair or even hit the racquet in anger like the other players.His single handed backhands are a joy to watch. In short, he oozes elegance and charisma and no wonder Rolex has him on the advertisement year after year during Wimbledon Open because RF is synonymous with the values Rolex stands for ( I wonder if I would get a Rolex watch for saying all these good things about Rolex; I love Rolex)

I don't know much about the techniques applied in tennis. My husband comments on the serves, returns and even ball toss all the time. As for me, ever since I started watching the game, a good match played preferably by Roger Federer has the same effects of a warm hug. You sigh contentedly and say 'That was a good game' after it has ended. You rejoice in their triumphs and you share their sadness in their losses. That's what tennis is for me (football?..never!)

In Wimbledon Open 2012, Federer beat Murray. The pressure was tremendous on Murray to win but the sleek and cool cat of Federer won his 7th Wimbledon Open then. In his speech, he commended Murray for a good fight and told him that he will win someday (of which he did during their next meet; the Olympics 2012). I remember reading the papers the next day and there was a caption written by Daily Mail which I wrote down.

'He did not lose because he choked. He did not lose because he moaned. He did not surrender to injury, or mislay his focus under the incredible weight of history bearing down on him Instead, he was merely a victim of being born in the same generation as the greatest player ever to grace a court' - Daily Mail on Andy Murray's defeat to Roger Federer 8/7/2012

I am lucky to stumble upon this game called tennis and to watch this amazing person create magic on the courts. Happy Birthday Roger Federer! May you continue to win more Grand Slams and entertain us with your superb display of sportsmanship.

Image from Google

Yogability

Being an Indian, I felt very responsible to take up Yoga and be an advocate. You know it being originated from India and all, I thought I should be preaching the goodness of Yoga.

I have always toyed with the idea of taking up Yoga but I just didn't have the time, OK I admit it... I was just being pure lazy and I didn't have the guts to pursue it.

My good friend, Lola is a Yoga practitioner and she is so petite and svelte. We have been friends for like 7 years but although she talks about it, I never had the urge to sign up for a class right away. Even pictures of friends and their limb twisting poses didn't entice me. My mind changed after my sister-in-law took up Yoga. At first she was complaining about how her body ached all over after each session and I remember her lamenting about upcoming classes.

But when I went back to Melaka one weekend, there she was looking all transformed. She looked way much slimmer and most importantly healthier and happier and there she was yapping about Yoga and how it made her life better. Finally my brains revved its engine and I made the resolution to take up classes myself, now that I am home and I don't move much.

I had the contact number of a Yoga instructor with me for a while before I made the call and I was very encouraged when she patiently explained about Yoga and what is it all about and calmed my fears about not being able to attempt some poses. 'What's important is you need to feel comfortable' she said. I eagerly waited for the first class. In the meantime, I managed to convince my youngest sister, Pippa to join the class on pretext of some bonding time. The actual truth is, I needed company badly and I was shy to go alone. (Yes, I am a very shy person, I swear!)

Our first class was last Friday night and it lasted for 90 minutes. The instructor was very kind to us and yours truly obviously couldn't do much.My evil sister had to re-enact my feeble attempts to do some poses in front of my husband later that night much to his amusement.

I did feel sore but good after all the breathing and relaxation techniques. I went for another session on Tuesday which was a bit more strenuous and I thought I was going to die. All in all, they were two really good sessions and I am looking forward to attending tomorrow's class. By the way, there is a 71-year-old lady in class and she is soooooo flexible!

We are going to spend a lot of time together, yoga mat :)

I may not lose weight by practicing Yoga simply because my fats are really stubborn with a capital S but I am sure I am going to be healthier because 'Yoga is a way of Life' (in a monotone voice) 

If only my sister in law had taken up Yoga sooner, I would have followed suit! But thanks for the inspiration :)

Lucky?

I used to wonder what was the big deal when other women tell me that I am lucky to have my husband especially when he takes care of Pebbles i.e changing her diapers, feeding her food and giving her a bath. I mean isn’t parenting teamwork? Just because I am woman, is it my responsibility to attend to our child’s needs solely?

I am more than happy when my husband does all this for our daughter and he does it without a word of complaint. He loves spending time alone with her too. The other day, he took her to the football field to watch Liverpool practice and I had 4 long hours of priceless solitude.

I have to admit that he exceeded my expectations when we had the baby. He was and still is so good with her and he is now a more hands on parent than I am. I remember being grateful (still am) for having a supportive partner to go through this adventure called ‘Parenthood’. The word lucky never crossed my mind.

I came across this blog while I was reading my FB news feed and what a spot on! People especially women should stop saying how lucky the other woman is for having a participating husband. We have a say in choosing our life partner so obviously we would choose someone who would be a great father to the children so what is luck got to do with it? Our kids are the ones who have no choice in choosing their parents so they are lucky if they have great ones :)

Read it.She is so cool

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/abi-oborne/five-reasons-i-am-not-lucky-to-have-my-husband_b_7875666.html

Can’t wait to tell her off when a woman tells me that I am lucky to be married to my husband *evil snigger*

-Written on July 31, 2015-