Bottle Feeding is OK too

I had a tough time breast feeding Pebbles. The day she was born, the nurse brought her to me and we tried to get her to latch on. It never crossed my mind (in a million years) that I may not be able to breastfeed her.

Firstly, I had trouble getting her to latch on. Secondly, I just didn’t have milk. One or two drops but nothing more. Friends told me to pump regularly. I did for 45 minutes, but I only managed to get half a teaspoon. I was devastated, depressed and stressed out.

My brother in law who is an OB/GYN doctor advised me to get her to latch on 1/2 hour before her feed time. I did that religiously only to cry when Pebbles cried because there wasn’t any milk. I call the early months after Pebbles’ birth the ‘Dark Times’

Luckily my husband was very supportive and he took over the formula milk filled bottle feeding rather expertly.

Pebbles is almost 9 months old and I still feel guilty for not breastfeeding her. Whenever she had the sniffles or a slight fever, I blamed myself for not successfully attempting to breastfeed her and providing her with all the goodness of breast milk.

I anticipate in fear for the question “Are you breastfeeding?’ whenever we meet someone. I crumple in despair when they give me the ‘Look’ right after I say No. It took me a long time to look them in the eye and say ‘No’.

My heart still aches (a little dull now) when I see a mother breastfeeding her child.Breastfeeding is not easy. It is difficult for many mothers. That was when I vowed to myself, never to ask that question to a mother with a baby.

I still support breastfeeding.I think it is excellent for the baby. I even told myself to read up all I can and be prepared mentally and physically for the next baby.But if all attempts fail, I would no longer be ashamed or heartbroken to resort to bottle feeding my child with formula milk.

My good friend, Ina recently had a baby and she confessed that she has a tough time breastfeeding her baby. I gave her appropriate advice which is to get the help of a lactation consultant (of which she had already made an appointment to meet) and most importantly to relax when she is attempting to breastfeed her child. I hope she succeeds. And if she doesn’t, I am going to be there for her to ensure she doesn’t get drowned in the dark sea of guilt and embarrassment as I did.

Once someone asked me, how could I bond with my child when I don’t breastfeed? I was stunned by the question and I had no clever retort. I just excused myself to the room only to cry buckets and telling myself in my head, what a hopeless mother I am. It took me awhile to recover from that episode but it resurfaced again when I read the following link from Baby Center.

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/these-photos-may-05312015change-your-mind-about-bottle-feeding/

Only this time, I had a huge smile on my face.These beautiful pictures show the deep bond and affection between the child and the person who is feeding the child through a bottle. When I saw these pictures, I suddenly found myself reminiscing the countless memories of me gazing at Pebbles while she drinks her milk and how my heart swells with so much of love (ok maybe except the time she is grumpy and drinks her milk with a frown which always cracks me up because that’s when I honestly believe I had given birth to a teenager and not a baby)

Basically what I want to say is; I am mother and I feed my child with formula milk and I believe bottle feeding is TOTALLY OK.

-Written on July 28, 2015-

French Parenting

Since I was feeling all blue yesterday, I decided to get some therapy. No, I didn’t lay down on a lounge chair and talk to a therapist neither did I exercise (although I am fully aware that it’s the BEST remedy). I simply dived into my Mount Kilimanjaro height laundry. As I folded the clothes, I began to relax and sent away all my worries ( In actual fact, I stored them somewhere in the corner of my mind to revisit later) I can’t help it! I am a born worrier.

I told myself to take it easy and take one step at a time. Folding clothes and talking to myself did wonders to my conflicted mind and soon I found myself reaching out for a long discarded book to nourish my soul.

When I was pregnant for Pebbles, I got myself some Chicken Soup for the Souls books. The New Mom, Parenthood and Mother & Daughter editions were simply great and heart warming to read. My husband’s cousin lent me a book called Baby Whisperer which gave many useful tips to basically mould your baby effectively :)

I also bought one book which I did not manage to read. I meant, I read a few pages but I lost interest in it or more like I thought the Baby Whisperer was a more informative and helpful book to read. The book I am rambling about is ‘Bringing Up Bebe” by Pamela Druckerman.

As I immersed myself in the pages, I thought rather belatedly that I should have finished reading the book aeons ago! Druckerman gives such vivid and insightful perspective in raising good kids the way French people do packed with statistics and studies. It is also very entertaining to read about French women’s perspective on babies, childbirth, breastfeeding, losing weight after birth and manners. Can’t wait to read the rest of the book and I will definitely recommend all soon to be mothers to read it.

Do you know that French women give themselves 3 months to lose all the pregnancy weight? I am behind by 5 months.Yikes!

-Written on July 23, 2015-

Internal Conflicts

I wonder if there are any SAHMs who miss their working lives. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pebbles to bits and I enjoy spending time with her but I also miss being able to challenge my brains, heck I miss attending meetings!

Friends tell me that I would have my hands full once she starts walking and grabbing things as I would have to be alert at all times. I am not really looking forward to it because seriously, who would want their child to grow super fast?

But although I would soon be so occupied with Pebbles, would I be satisfied with being a SAHM? Does it make me a bad mother for voicing this out? Oh dear!

Deep down I feel my biggest fear is losing myself amidst the commitments I have for my family. Will I be identified as a person of her own without being addressed as So and So’s wife or Pebbles mother? Is it an issue if I am not?

I suppose I need to reach deep down within me to solve this internal dilemma.

Sigh…issues faced by a conflicted person

-Written on July 22, 2015-

Unity in Diversity

It is the Eid celebrations once again and I am happy to see so many pictures of smiling people in colour coordinated clothes in my Facebook news feed for a change.

Let’s admit it, Facebook has become an important tool in bringing people closer together but it is also being used as a platform to brew hatred, anger, jealously and all the negative things you can ever imagine. That is why it was refreshing to see pictures of dear friends having a great time with their loved ones instead.

My close friend Lola invited us over to her house for lunch so as you can imagine, it took my husband and I to get ourselves and Pebbles ages to get ready for this visit. Pebbles was unusually cranky and whiny on that day and I almost watsapped Lola to say we were not coming but the goal of increasing adult interaction came to mind so I persevered and bundled up Pebbles and headed out of the house not realising that I forgot to apply powder on my face and I did not comb my hair! I also wore slippers. I must have been a great sight but polite Lola did not comment anything.

As expected, Pebbles transformed when we reached Lola’s. She became all sweet and giggly (Seriously, I think my child is the mini version of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde) Nobody believes us when we say she is a screaming queen because she starts cooing at the mere mention of it. People do think I have become deranged to say such a thing about my sweet little cuppy cake.

It was a splendid day. We had sumptuous meal and a few other people came over. Besides Pebbles, Lola had a cute little angelic looking niece who is a month younger than Pebbles there. Both babies were on the play mat doing baby stuff when Pebbles suddenly reached out and scratched the other baby’s face. Can you imagine the horror I went through?! I even had for a split a vision of friendless Pebbles in school because she plays rough. Husband and I apologized profusely and of course the parents were too polite to say anything but ‘It’s ok’ (I am still hyperventilating as I write this)

Anyway the baby calmed down and braved herself to be in the same vicinity as Pebbles who by now decided to explore the house with a lot of knick knacks. Husband dutifully followed her around to ensure she doesn’t break anything more than hurt herself :) (Our child is pretty sturdy)

Another child came along with her parents and we realized what an interesting bunch of multiracial people we made. The hosts were Malays (obviously) I am an Indian, and there were two Chinese families and there we were talking and enjoying each other’s company.

It made me realize how essential interdependence is in our society. People of all walks of life are highly capable of living amongst each other as long as we respect one another. It’s simple as that. Respect is the key ingredient in living harmoniously with one another.

Now I have to instil that value in my child perhaps after I cut her nails really short! Sigh

image from Google

-Written on July 18, 2015-

Sports

When my husband and I started dating,I was involuntarily thrust into the Sports World. He watches all kinds of sports not only Football.

Among all that he watches or follows, I got hooked on to 2 games; cricket and tennis (one team sport and the other individual sport ;) ) Both games are long and can be dreary but being the patient me, I enjoy watching them.

My husband plays friendly cricket matches so I used to follow him and watch him play. He is a bowler and although he may not be the best player (sorry darling) he is well versed with the technicalities of the game (or so I think). My first experience watching a world cup game was back in 2011. India was playing Sri Lanka in the finals. Being of Sri Lanka descent, my husband and his family were rooting for Sri Lanka. I was silently supporting India. It was an interesting game and the atmosphere was electrifying. Needless to say, India emerged as champions and husband was moody (he is a sore loser). But that match piqued my curiosity to learn more about the game and I turned to Google, my trusted advisor. Did I tell you I am a Googleholic? :P

Since I don’t cook and the way to a man’s heart is through cooking, I changed my game plan by equipping myself with knowledge about cricket and tennis and I can safely say my man is impressed whenever I offer nuggets of pertinent information about both sports :)

On tennis, I got hooked when I watched the Wimbledon final 2009 between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick. It was a long match and I was mesmerized by the way both players played. I also remembered the commentator describing each player; Federer a wizard and Roddick a machine. When Federer won, clinching the 15th Grand Slam, surpassing Pete Sampras’ record, I fell in love with tennis.I read all about it and even attempted to play the game which I failed rather miserably. Found out rather belatedly that I am a better spectator than a player

Although I an not sporty and actually a nerd, I love watching these two games. My husband preaches the benefits of participating in sports of which I wholly agree.We bond over these two games and I enjoy listening to him commenting (although I always double check on the accuracy of the information on Google) Can’t help it, I am addicted.

However for 8 long years, he has been pestering me to watch football with him of which I have vehemently declined.Football for me is too over commercialised and I find the players are spoiled (Just my thoughts, don’t shoot me, football enthusiasts)

Now that we have a child, I am all game to ensure she gets sufficient exposure in sports.Husband is very keen to get her to play one individual and one team sport and I am secretly hoping she would choose tennis and cricket (not squash or hockey, please) Squash; I don’t understand the game despite husband explaining it to me repeatedly and Hockey; I don’t want her to get hurt with the sticks :) Can’t help it , I am a mother!

It is never to young to start so we got Pebbles dressed in whites together with a white headband and made her hold a Wilson tennis racquet as we prepared to watch Wimbledon 2015 finals.

Too bad Federer lost to Djokovic but we still love him and we are happy to know that Pebbles have the same head of lovely hair as Federer’s…the soft curls

-Written on July 15, 2015-

Zombified

When I became a mother, I had to part ways with my lover.

It was a painful break up but we had to do it in order for me to be a dutiful mother.

Before your mind wanders away with the imaginary man, let me just burst the bubble by saying that I was talking about my sleep.

I love to sleep. My husband loves to sleep. In fact, he doesn’t take a nap, he hibernates. I enjoy a good night’s sleep and 1 nice short nap in the afternoon. Sounds nice, right?

So it baffled me and my husband when we were bestowed a cherubic baby who hates to sleep. It’s true, Pebbles absolutely hates to sleep.It’s as though she feels she would miss out on things if she sleeps off. Ever since she was born, she never had a straight 10 hour sleep. And as though she is a CEO of a company, she power naps. It’s true, her naps lasts only 20 minutes. The odd thing is, she is all bright eyes when she is up and she turns to me with a look that (I swear) sounds like ‘Ok ma, I am up. Entertain me’ Oh god!

Speaking about God, I am more than convinced that He was bored to tears one day so he decided to have some fun by giving a pair of sleep loving couple a non sleep loving child. ha ha ha (not funny, God)

Take last night for an instance, Pebbles slept off at 8.30pm. Woke up at 10.30pm just when I was about to sleep and only slept off at 1am! Woke up at 4am slept back again after I rocked her but proceeded to do the same at 5,6,7, 8 and 9am when I decided, enough! time to wake up. So here I am looking all zombified while the love of my life is cooing happily.( I meant my baby, husband is equally zombified)

I love my child to bits but I love sleep too but I don’t think I would be able to indulge in it for a looooooong time. Now I hear a strange buzz in my head maybe due to lack of sleep (duh!) and I have work to do. House looks like it has been hit by a tornado. Oh well, I did say the break up with Mr.Sleep was painful, didn’t I? Where is Nanny McPhee when I need her?!

Maybe looking at pictures of people sleeping soundly would ease the pain a little (who am I kidding?)

*Picture from Google image

-Written on July 9,2015-

Yummy Food, Great Company

I married into a family of great cooks which means two things;

1) I ALWAYS have super yummy food

2) I will always feel that my cooking sucks

Number 2 can be dealt with as everyone knows I can’t cook but husband insists that it is not ‘I can’t’ it is more of ‘I won’t’. Oh well, you can bring the horse to the water but you can’t force it to drink right?

I have known my in-laws for 8 long years (So I suppose you can understand the effects of the wonderful cooking on my waistline) and my taste buds have gone through a revolution of acquired taste. Most of them are into traditional Indian cooking but there is a cousin who loves to experiment with food and always manages to whip something mouth-watering and delicious for us.

This cousin of ours loves to cook and bake. She absolutely loves slaving in the kitchen (Obviously, she doesn’t see it as a form of slavery) She is the one person my husband loves to compare me with. And the problem is she is so lovable that I don’t mind being compared to her :P

Last weekend, (in our bid to increase adult interactions) we paid her a visit. Obviously, being the polite us, we informed earlier that we were coming. Our gleeful cousin set about making us stuffed with yummy food.

This is what we had as appetizers:

1) Egg and caviar sandwiches

2) Jelly topped with grapes swimming in evaporated milk

3) Chocolate cupcakes with cream on the top (simply decadent)

Main course:

1) Middle Eastern Lamb and Egg wedges (which was out of this world)

2) Pigs in blanket (I had so much until I could ‘Oink’)

3) Grapes, cheese and apple salad

Needless to say we were stuffed to the brim and we enjoyed her company along with her husband’s and her adorable 6-year-old daughter who was doting on Pebbles. We had fun gabbing away till almost 1am

It made me wonder that life is all about having great food and wonderful company. Don’t you think so?

-Written on July 4, 2015-